Pool Minnow

Trust issues

2011-10-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

I wanted to make it at least a month without posting now that I'm retired, but I also really wanted to share an interesting thought from Dr. Patrick Cohn's Sports Insight Newsletter:

Trust in your skills is the ability to let go of controlling thoughts during execution and rely on what you have already trained in practice. Trust is not the same mental skill as confidence. Trust happens during execution, whereas confidence precedes execution. The more confidence you have in your ability to hit the jump shot in basketball, for example, the greater likelihood of you trusting your shot.

I guess I had never really thought about the distinction between trust and confidence...but I can think of moments where I got down on the shot and I was confident I was going to make it. For some reason, I wanted to make sure I made the shot, so instead of trusting my stroke and letting it flow, I tried to control it, and missed.

Having made some changes fairly recently, I don't really trust my stroke right now. Its a new, unproven relationship. If I fall into a rhythm where I'm not really thinking about anything, my stroke works great, better than ever, but to trust it in a moment where I'm thinking "I need to make this ball," I can't help but try to grab the steering wheel (sending the ball crashing into the rail). Trust can take time do grow, I guess, but its just so strange that when things are most important, our instinct can be to do the thing that will mess us up. And that's just one of the reasons why we can't stop playing this crazy game, I guess.

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**Dr. Cohn is a sports psychologist who coaches junior and professional athletes and has a number of mental toughness training resources, including a podcast, newsletter, a subscription website (which has some free stuff on it), CD/book programs (which Tyler Eddy mentioned in an interview with Samm Diep). His podcast "Get Psyched For Sports" alternates between answering a listener question and interviews with athletes or other sports psychology experts--its a great free resource.

The time has come the walrus said

2011-09-15T20:07:00.000-07:00

More than a month has gone by since my last, very brief post. In that time I've considered a topic here or there, composed a few lines as I waited for the bus, figuring at some point, I would sit down at a computer and post at least something. And then yesterday, I realized that maybe, perhaps, for now, I was done. Not that I don't have anything more to say, but for whatever reason, I'm not drawn to say it here. So, I am announcing the retirement of Pool Minnow, sort of.

Having a blog is a little like having a goldfish. It doesn't have to be high maintenance, but you do need to feed it a little bit every now and then. It can survive awhile without changing the water, but even if the fish is okay, you feel guilty and if you wait too long, well, it just dies. The whole time it takes up space on your counter and on your to-do list, and even if you stay on top of the care and feeding, someday, its still destined to be a floater. (I don't know if that's really a good analogy, its been over 20 years since I owned any fish.)

I was a true beginner when I started this blog, and I'm still several trips to the sun and back away from being an expert. I've managed to fumble my way towards the mediocre middle...still waiting for the day when I'd feel like I earned the right to even wear one of OMGWTF's "HACK" shirts. (I still consider myself "sub-hack"). But somehow it seems right to kind of finish things here, and move on to a new phase. I'll probably post from time to time, pimp the latest RadioLab story, that kind of thing. Maybe at some point I'll be inspired to come back or start even start a new blog (although I'm kind of attached to the name).

Blogging has been a great experience in ways I never imagined. I always knew it would be a good way to record my experience and reflect on my life in pool, but my favorite thing about it has been connecting with people (both virtually and in person), who I would have never otherwise met, most of whom are in my blogroll. So thanks for reading, commenting, subscribing and allowing me to be a part of your online procrastination. It has been an honor.

Well, see you in the pool hall! (But don't interrupt me when I'm practicing!!!:-)

Whee!

Determination

2011-07-17T22:22:00.000-07:00

A super quick blog post....I watched the end of the British Open today (yes, golf, not pool). I'm not a big golf fan, but I enjoyed watching Darren Clarke's last couple of shots to win his first major at the age of 42, on his 20th try in this particular event. He apparently gave credit to his success to this piece of advice: "Don't let your game determine your attitude, let your attitude determine your game."

Perhaps easier said than done...still inspiring to see it happen.

How would you play this?: Its the little things.....

2011-07-06T19:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, this isn't a pool table scenario I'm asking about, but a match scenario (besides I still haven't figured out cue table): When someone is distracting you during a match, what do you do?

Here are a couple of scenarios that happened recently:

1. My opponent nervously twitches his feet or swings his legs back and forth every time he sits down. I doubt that he's even aware he's doing it. But every time I shoot in his direction its like two giant Nike hummingbirds in my view.

2. A friend of my opponent comes to sweat the match, and then engages in a conversation with the tournament director in a normal conversational voice. But the way the seating is arranged, they are very close to the table. Its impossible to not hear every word of their conversation.

Did this affect the outcome of my match? Maybe, especially the second case. But, the blame really lies in my own distractibility. If the focus wasn't there in the first place, maybe I'm just kidding myself and I wasn't going to play that well, period.

In the first case, the foot-twitcher, leg-swinger, I didn't say anything until after the match. He's a nice guy who wouldn't want to shark his opponents, but because I lost it kind of seemed like sour grapes and that was my excuse for losing (even though that's not how I felt). Plus, its too late to do me any good.

In the second case, the chatty TD & by-stander, I probably gave a couple of passive aggressive looks of death that went unnoticed. I just wasn't comfortable saying anything to them because it seemed like they had a right to be there.

In both cases, I got especially irritated because I thought these people should know better, and be more courteous (a thought that surely helped fuel any death looks).

In principle, I think its my job as a player to block out distractions, so I'm reluctant to say anything unless I consider the "distractor" a friend. Otherwise, I just need to suck it up. After all, if I were in the Philippines, I'd have to deal with much worse.

In reality, while there are some states of deep concentration where nothing can bother you, the truth is that most of the time, even when your playing well, we aren't that well-protected from our immediate surroundings. Stuff gets to me, to everyone (or at least a lot of people). So, another way to look at this is that the problem isn't just my inability to block out the distraction, but its also my discomfort with conflict. Maybe I should be more assertive?

But, there are downsides to saying something. Speaking up about a distraction (or even delivering looks of death), is admitting a weakness to your opponent. And in the past where I've tried to be more assertive, I've ended up feeling like I sharked myself more by saying something because the request was not well-received.

What works for you? Do you keep it all inside and just deal?

This is NPR

2011-06-15T22:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this is how much of a pool nerd I have become.:

I saw the title "This is NPR " in the window of a bookstore and my first thought was not that this was a book about National Public Radio, which it is, but "Wow, someone's made a book from the Non-Pool Related Forum (commonly referred to as NPR) on AZBilliards." This may not be odd for some people, but I listen to A LOT of National Public Radio, and have only once actually read the NPR Forum on AZ Billiards. I guess that pool is just always there as a first response for my brain to make sense of the world. hmmm time to get out more, I guess.

Anyway, this is just a segue in to saying congratulations to my friends at Radio Lab (which you can listen to on NPR) for recently winning a Peabody Award. A good friend of mine was one of the original producers, and many years ago I made some small contributions to the show when it was just starting to find a following. If you love science and good storytelling, you'll enjoy RadioLab.

I was going to link to all the Radio Lab episodes I'd put a pool spin on here in the blog, but when I did a search I could only find two. Alas, many of the posts I remembered were among those I composed in my head while sitting on a bus or train, and just never got written. They do a lot of stories on the brain, which obviously apply to the mental side, but I find connections a lot of their material. ( I guess that pool is just always there as a first response for my brain to make sense of the world. hmmm time to get out more, I guess.)

Anyway, the two that made it from brain to blog:

Check out more episodes or subscribe to their podcast at radiolab.org. One of my recent favorites includes a story about a woman named Zelda used the Ku Klux Klan to help her stop smoking (Check out the episode Help!).

So congrats to Jad, Ellen & crew. You are masters of your craft!

The odds of three

2011-05-23T19:03:00.000-07:00

I had some time on the commuter train this past week, and got around to reading through the 9-Ball section of Phil Capelle's Play Your Best Pool. Right in keeping with my nostalgic look back on the thrill of running 3-balls in my last post, Phil offers this analysis of the odds of running the last 3 balls on the table.

"You'd be surprised at how often the majority of pool players fail to negotiate the all important last three balls. One reason is simply the numerical odds of pocketing three balls in a row....Once you can regularly get out from the 7-ball, you'll be beating a lot of players that you thought were pretty good up until now."

So here's how he breaks down the math:

If you make 70% of your shots, you have a 1 in 3 chance (34%)
If you make 80% of your shots, you have a 1 in 2 chance (51.8%)
If you make 90% of your shots, you get out most of the time, but still dog it in about 1 in four tries (73%)

These figures are a little depressing. Its pretty startling to think if I'm looking at an easy out with shots that I miss one out of ten tries (and that's including getting the right position in many cases), the stats say, I blow it a quarter of the time. That doesn't seem right, but if I was honest about it, it's probably true.

I'm not sure I really want this going through my head as I walk up to the table after my opponent has missed the seven. But, I guess its good inspiration to remember to never take any shot for granted, and bear down on the last three. It would be nice to be the kind of player who beats their average if its the three that can win you the game.

The good ol' days

2011-05-04T22:17:00.000-07:00

I spent a little time tonight reading through some of my older blog posts (can't believe I started 4 years ago. Where does the time go?) One thing that really struck me was how proud I was when ever I had a three-ball out. (It was kind of my measure for success at the time).

It made me a little nostalgic for those early beginning days. I had to work hard for those three ball outs, and sometimes I still do. The difference is, now, if I fail, I'm much harder on myself. And even if I succeed, there's just not the same pay-off, because I'm supposed to get out. Successful execution is probably more of a relief than anything.

Can you think back and remember how satisfying it was to get any ball in the pocket the first time you picked up a cue stick? nothing like it..

I'm not exactly sure what my point is here....whether its to appreciate the little things (i.e. successful shots no matter how basic), and approach the world with the proverbial beginner's mind, or if its just to observe that the further up the hill you get, sometimes the steeper the climb. I do miss those little 3-ball victories.

Yes, I've heard of one pocket!!!!

2011-04-17T20:53:00.000-07:00

Its early on a Sunday and the room is almost empty. I picked my favorite table...in the middle of the room, with tighter, but not the tightest pockets. One side has seating in between it and the next table, so its good for drills. I'm working on a one-rail position drill. I'm shooting pretty well, but I've been a little unfocused...and I'm really trying to get back on track.

Then, this guy I've never seen before hovers over my table (this hasn't happened in a long time):

Mosquito: "How you doing?"
Me: "Um, I'm fine"
Mosquito: "You ever hear of a game called one-pocket?"

Oh sweet lord. Really? Really? If I were playing in a bar, this would be a perfectly reasonable question, but in a pool hall, where I'm clearly a regular, that holds a monthly one-pocket tournament?

I answer "Yes. If you're looking for a game, you should ask for Billy." He says something more but I've returned to my drill. He walks away, but I suspect what is coming next.

There are at least 10 tables available. With a whole room of tables, my new friend, mosquito, decides to take the one closest to me.

I never look over at the table, unless I'm checking to see if I will interfere with his shot. The whole time though, I feel like he's trying to get my attention. Everything he does, his warm up strokes, his comments to himself, somehow I feel like he's performing for my benefit.

It turns out he had a pre-arranged game and eventually the other guy shows up. I start to think that maybe I was wrong, and I'm just full of myself. It also occurs to me that I'm hungry and my blood sugar is low, and I should probably give up on practice and get food. I play for a little longer and then start to pack up.

Immediately, mosquito turns around (in the middle of his rack):

Mosquito: "Where you going? Its too early to leave!"
Me: "I've got lots to do."
Mosquito: "No, no, its too early. What you going to do now?"
Me: "Stuff. I was lucky to find time to come down here in the first place."
Mosquito: "Well, that's my kind of woman who comes down on a Sunday to shoot pool..blah, blah"

What am I supposed to say? Gee, lucky me, cuz that's the reason I came down to shoot pool in the first place...I ignore the comment.

Mosquito: "So, do you know any bars in the City that are good for pool?"
Me: [I give him the name of a good pool bar that I never go to.]
Mosquito: "Do you go there?"
Me: "No." And I leave, unfortunately, with the sense that he was not discouraged.

In a world where there exist violent dictators, serial gropers, and American Idol, this is not the worst thing going on. When this kind of thing happens in a bar, so be it, or even the bus, which is a public place after all. Its annoying, but I can cope. But in the pool hall, as expected as it is, it just offends me. Pool is a sanctuary of sorts for me, and its a sanctuary that I pay for by the hour. Please let me practice in peace!

I'm fortunate, as this hasn't happened in a long time. There used to be one or two regulars who were a problem, but I haven't seen them in awhile, and even they got the idea that I wasn't interested in being chatted up and left me alone.

I guess its back to the corner table with the buckets for awhile...

The benefits of exhaustion

2011-04-11T20:20:00.000-07:00

It was the end of a long day. I started playing in an event at noon and finished around a quarter to seven. Actually, that's a short day by pool standards, but I was disappointed with the results, and I think that drained a little more energy from me.

As I was driving home, I realized the timing was just right to hit a Saturday night tourney near by. The inner debate began:

Don't Go: "You've really had enough pool for today. Its a little crazy to play another tournament."

Go: "Yeah, but do you really don't want to go home a loser. This is your chance to win at least one match."

Don't Go:"Yeah, but you're pretty tired, how depressing would it be to lose in two tournaments in one day."

Go:"Even if you lose, its good experience. Big tournaments often start at noon and go into the night. This will be good for your stamina. Besides, maybe you'll be warmed up."

"Go" wins out, not for any reason other than "I want to" and I pull up to a parking place just in time to get one warm up game before the tourney starts. The good news is I'm playing pretty well. The atmosphere is relaxed, and it feels much more like the games you play for fun AFTER the match is over. You know, as soon as the pressure is off, suddenly the game feels effortless.

I end up in the finals. I've already exceeded my expectations, and I am pretty tired, so I ask my opponent to split. He really wants to play it out, which was fine, too. I close my eyes for a minute and breathe. Its not that I'm feeling any pressure, but I can feel the tiredness starting to catch up with me, and just the edges of crankiness are starting to show. When I'm cranky, I don't stroke smoothly. Its like I take out my crankiness on the cue ball and punch at it and hit too hard. So, before that takes root, I just try to accept being tired and relax through it.

Towards the end of the first game I realize that my opponent has a few quirks. He has a really idiosyncratic way of lining up his shots. He walks up to the table and stands behind the shot with his feet tightly pressed together, slightly leaning over the table. Then keeping his head perfectly still take little tiny steps moving his body into position. The process was done with a distinct rhythm (think Charlie Chaplin or maybe Fred Flintstone bowling). It was oddly graceful if somewhat un-natural. Then, to add the final touch to this unique ritual, upon settling into his shot, he kind of flicked his tongue in and out in an effort to concentrate.

The truth is pool is filled with some strange birds. And really, if any of this helps him shoot better, then by all means he should keep doing it and never mind what anyone else thinks. The thing is, this stuff gets to me. There's something about this kind of un-natural ritualistic movement that distracts me. And as far as tongues and facial expressions, I've made it a point to try to ignore what people look like when they shoot, because sometimes its too funny and it becomes all I can think about. This leads to being annoyed at myself for being distracted over such a small thing.

Obviously, on this night, I was not successful at ignoring my opponent. I noticed all the oddities. And I noticed that they were annoying. But, I was not annoyed. It was as if in my relaxed tiredness I was somewhere very far away, where all those petty little annoyances couldn't get me. I was able to conserve what little energy I had left. I won the match in straight games and went home.

I remember reading about a pain management technique where patients view the part of their body that hurt through the wrong end of a telescope. Seeing their foot or hand as very small and far away, was a fairly successful way to manage the pain. (Or without a telescope, doing the same with visualization). My experience in this tournament makes me think that the small and distant imagery might be a useful technique for dealing with opponents who are irritating. (Without the telescope, of course, unless you're Earl Strickland).

Anyway, I hope it works. Tomorrow in league, we're up against a team that has a player known even by his friends as "Scrunch Face." He's the nicest guy, but dear lord, its like playing a muppet. Wish me luck!

The flesh is willing, but the mind is weak

2011-04-06T19:09:00.000-07:00

Back when I first started this blog, I considered myself a choker. I saw my pool game improving, but when it came down to finishing the important game, I couldn't do it. It wasn't surprising. I could look back in my life and think of so many experiences where I had the opportunity to live up to my potential, and didn't....moments where I grasped defeat from the jaws of victory or never got out of the gate. I would have never said this out loud, but deep down I KNEW I was a loser.

But pool was an opportunity to change that. I decided to change the perception that my ability to win or lose was somehow an inherent part of my character, and instead to approach it as a skill that could be learned. Its funny, now it seems so trite to say that, but at the time I really had to shift my thinking.

I got my hands on some great books (some that I've mentioned here), worked on some of their training programs to change perception and develop skills to handle pressure situations. I saw progress, but when I couldn't wait any longer, I bit the bullet, and shelled out more than I wanted to for the "Overcoming Contenderosis Self-Hypnosis" CD's. It was A LOT MORE than I was comfortable spending, especially since I thought I might be getting ripped off (Although an email from FastMikie helped me feel better about that. Nowadays you can buy the individual CD's separately at Bebob Publishing, but at the time you had to buy the entire set.) But I figured that having made the investment, I'd be more likely to put in the time to see if it worked.

Within a week, I began a 10-match winning streak. I felt invincible. But then the moment I lost, despite my efforts to contextualize it as normal and inevitable, it was like the bubble had been burst, and all my new found faith dispersed. I went on a losing streak.

But I stuck with the self-hypnosis and continued to seek out pressure situations. In retrospect, that initial success was just a placebo effect. I hadn't yet put the time in needed to build the "muscle memory" of my mind. After several months, I learned what it felt like to consciously relax deeply. I could listen to the beginning of the recording, or take a couple of deep breaths, and all the tension in my body would just melt. I could then skip ahead to listen to the very end and listen to "you're about to wake up. And when you do you will be fresh and alert, as if you have just slept." I'd open my eyes, and, sure enough, others would comment, "What happened? You look so refreshed."

It didn't work 100% of the time, but I could feel and see the difference in my performance from the studying, the self-hypnosis and getting experience in pressure situations. I started liking pressure. I felt that's when I played my best.

In the past year, I haven't spent much less time on the mental game. Partially, because I was happy with what I had learned, and partially because I was struggling with some bigger issues of motivation (fake it til you make it!). And, lets face it. Those self-hypnosis tapes start to get pretty boring after you've listened to them a zillion times. I figured I needed to take a break from it.

Now I'm finding motivation again and I'm not faking it. I care what happens in my matches. Of course, I still see myself as that same pressure player, but when I actually walk up to the table, it doesn't feel like it. I guess I thought that motivation was the real problem, and that once that barrier was removed, all my dormant mental skills would appear as soon as I really, really wanted them to. And now I'm realizing that is like thinking you will weigh fifteen pounds less just because you find the right dress.

I guess I will have to get back to work....

So, anyone have any mental game book recommendations? I'd like to re-read the ones on my shelf, but would like to pick up something new, too. I've got Pleasure of Small Motions, both James Loehr books on Mental Toughness, and Zen Golf by Joseph Parent (which is awesome...a great recommendation from Liz Ford).

And, I just want to say thanks to Caroming the Combination for his recent post on Thinking too much, and reminding me that the mental game takes practice.

[Also, if anyone is as crazy as me, and is interested in trying the Overcoming Contenderosis CD's I have some definite opinions about which ones are worth trying. Self-hypnosis isn't for everyone, but I was please with the results.]

Feeling groovy

2011-03-30T07:56:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to say that I've been too happily busy to blog much. Things seem to be falling into place. I love the new league and look forward to it each week. I'm getting in practice time, finding the discipline to really work on my weaknesses (instead of banging the balls around). I even wrote down a training plan for my practice sessions this month, which is the kind of thing I usually think about doing, feel I should do, and then don't. And, a couple of friends with skills have volunteered to work with me on my 9-ball game. It feels like good opportunities are finding me.

Not sure if it's that spring is here, or if it's just the pendulum swinging the other way, but its nice to feel like I'm headed in a good direction.

Was I really that bad?

2011-03-09T21:30:00.001-08:00

After making a big deal of becoming "league-free," I have to fess up: I'm on a team again. It was kind of a misunderstanding, but its a BCA team playing 8-ball on big tables, so its still a change of pace. When it happened, I decided to run with it. These things happen for a reason, right?

Anyway, last night was my first night playing for this team. I don't know anyone on my team or the opposing team team. I only know a handful of people in the league. We were playing one of the better teams in the league.

I know its best not to think this way, but I couldn't help wanting to show my new teammates I can play at least a little. Not an easy task, because for whatever reason, I've been feeling awkward and impatient at the table lately, especially playing 8-ball.

I lost the first game, although the first inning was not a complete embarrassment. Besides, I'm just warming up, right?

Then, in the middle of my second game, my opponent from my first match calls a time-out on me to let me know that I am playing so badly that he assumes I have never played real 8-ball before: "Pool Minnow, this is 8-ball. You know you don't always have to go for a shot. 8-ball is like chess. You must try to use strategy."

This was ironic, because I was actually going for a two way shot, with the hope I would get a good leave and block a pocket if I missed. I had called the pocket, just in case. My shot wasn't a great shot, but it was the best one that my tired-self could see in that moment. He pointed out a much better shot that was both more strategically advantageous and easier to execute. But, since he was on the other team, and wasn't supposed to be coaching me anyway, I felt I should stick to my original plan.

I went for the shot...
missed by a diamond and a half...
didn't block the pocket...
and scratched.

Wow. I showed him!

And that was pretty much the highpoint of my evening.

Oh well, I guess there's nowhere to go but up!

Nobody puts Baby in the corner

2011-03-02T20:22:00.000-08:00

I think I may have lost my mind in Reno this weekend at the US Bar Table Championships. Watching all those great strokes was inspiring, but it got me to thinking: its virtually impossible for me to get in the practice time I need to really improve in the way I would like.

I have a full-time job. Actually, its more than a full-time job. I have no car, and either pool hall in the city is 2 buses away, so I have to plan for about 2.5 hours to get in 1 hour of practice. At the end of a long day or a long week, its sometimes hard to drag myself on public transit, even if I really want to practice.

So this is what I'm considering: taking out my couch and putting a pool table in the corner. Yes, in the corner. Think about it....there are an awful lot of drills you can do with only two sides. I kind of like the idea of it not being a fully functional table. I'm thinking the limited access will make me want to do drills rather than just hit balls around.

The deal would be to do it for one year, and then sell the table (unless I really loved the set up). At the same time, I'd give up cable for the year (which is just a waste of money) to help pay for the table in case I can't find something cheap on Craigslist.

So here's the part I'm unsure about....it does kind of mean that I'm devoting a large part of my everyday living space to pool. I'm fortunate to live in a 1-bedroom, so I would effectively start living in a studio with a pool training room, almost completely taken up by a pool table. (i.e. you can't flop down on the green felt at the end of a long day to relax and watch House. It would take up a lot of my space.)

Is this crazy?

Or given the amount of mental space that pool already takes up, does it make perfect sense?

Is there anyway to know unless I try?

Well, the tape measure is out and I'm working on the redesign of my apartment. Not sure I will actually go through with it, but stay tuned.

and never looked back...

2011-02-02T21:42:00.000-08:00

Yes, in case you were wondering, I have stayed league-free. And I'm happy about it. There were those who doubted I could really do it. Even now when I say I'm taking a break from playing league, some people think that means I'm playing only one night. Others were sure that once the season rolled around that some invitation to join a team would pull me back in. There were invitations, and they were declined.

I've been to league nights. Sweated friends' matches. Enjoyed a spirited beverage or two. And never once have I regretted not being in the line up. I'll admit that I can feel a slight loss of edge, not having that weekly competition, but the reality is I think that was slipping anyway.

And now the fun begins. I've long wanted to go back and take a good look at my fundamentals and rebuild, something that just seemed too hard when I was competing weekly. That may have just been an excuse. Truth is I dread doing it, but know it must be done if I want to get to another level.

Aargh.
The video. The dreaded watching myself on video.
The drills. The dreaded drills that I loved when I first started and I did until I couldn't stand them anymore.
The awkward, not-comfortable feeling of changing well-grooved habits. ick.

Oh well, I'm a masochist anyway, so sign me up.

Why pep talks don't work...

2011-01-11T06:37:00.000-08:00

I came in second in a tournament this weekend, after missing an easy 8-ball hill-hill. It was the classic scenario. The seven ball was the tough one. Make it, and the 8 & 9 were easy shots with natural shape. I just got down on that 8-ball and thought a second too long, took an extra practice stroke....lordy, I have no idea what kind of stroke came from my arm, it was some kind of twisty-exorcist kind of craziness!

I just laughed, as I've been in one of those awkward periods where nothing feels quite right--not my cue, not my stance, not my stroke, not my bridge...I'm just off. I've come to accept this as a "refinement" phase, so I was surprised and happy just to be in the finals.

A fellow competitor who I've gotten to know a little bit decided to stay to root me on. Once I made it to the semi-finals he said that he was going to stay to watch me win this. He kept saying things like "You can do it." " I know you can win this thing." "All the way." Sometimes he sat next to me during the match, and when my opponent missed he'd say, "There you go!"

It was really awkward for me because he's a really nice guy and meant well. I know that I wasn't exuding confidence (refinement phase and all, you know), but I was comfortable where I was. Despite all his positivity, his comments made me feel less confident. They were meant to build me up, but they actually made me feel small.

Here is my translation of the pep talk:
"I'm not sure you're going to win this match. Its possible you could win this match, but I think you need some help. I'm going to try to encourage you to by being really positive, because I'm not confident you will do it on your own."

I feel a little bad even writing this because I know that he really wanted to see me win, and maybe for some people those words would have been really encouraging and helpful. If he had said, "That's a really tough match, you don't have a chance," it would have been much less distracting.I didn't ask him to stop, and perhaps I should have. I tend to believe that I need to develop the skills to block out anything that is unhelpful. Maybe I just need to work on how I internally translate those type of comments. Its not the first time that I've been felt undermined by them.

The mental game is so personal...what works for one person doesn't work for the next. Hell, what works in one moment, doesn't always work in the next. I think one place where people misstep is they forget to start with the present....accepting whatever mental state you (or the person you're coaching is) are in. Good mental coaching doesn't build confidence....it uncovers it. The pep talk, if not done right, is trying to cover up whatever is wrong with something pretty. It tries to compensate for doubt, which for me, makes it harder to let doubt fade away.

Confidence is an unconditional state in which you simply possess an unwavering state of mind that needs no reference point. There is no room for doubt; even the question of doubt does not occur. --- Venerable Chogyam Trungpa from Shambala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior.

(This post needs some serious editing, but I haven't posted in awhile, so I'm just going to let her ride...Happy New Year!)

Two weeks notice

2010-11-18T22:02:00.000-08:00

Two more weeks and I will be officially league free.

Yep, I finally did it. After several years of oscillating from over-committing to "just once a week" I realized it was time to just take a complete break.

Its kind of an odd feeling. I've been playing continuously in the same league since I started playing pool. But over the last couple of months I realized that I achieved most of what I wanted to in league (for now), and that I needed to devote more time to tournaments, practice and non-pool activities.

One of my instructors used to say, "Always leave the table wanting more." Lately, league has felt a little bit like having a second job (that doesn't pay very well!). In the past, I have found value in pushing past the "league fatigue" to find a new motivation in order to keep going. But now its time to move on.

A few months ago, when I was in the middle of my tournament blitz, I kind of knew I was headed for burnout city. I went ahead anyway because my gut told me that it would somehow force a change that was necessary. And it did. It broke my addiction to league. Okay, maybe its not league per se, but my addiction to my comfort zone. Now that I've spent more time in arenas that are new and challenging, I'm not that interested in going back.

So, as of week after next, I will be a free agent. I'm not sure what that means, except that I will only play pool when I really want to and not when I have to. Just writing that makes me want to go play pool NOW. I'd say that's a good sign.

Just a little bit

2010-10-19T06:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, so now I have not one, but two longer almost completed posts in need of editing, but no time to finish them, so just a brief recap on the APA Singles Regionals a couple weeks ago: I lost.

I made it to the finals in 8-ball and semi-finals in 9-ball undefeated, and then just ran out of gas. Most people compete in either one or the other but not both. My plan, as I had written about, was to just drop 9-ball, but the week before a friend added me to his roster without asking, so I could compete if I wanted to. (At the end of the day, I think that playing 9-ball probably hurt my chances of going all the way in 8-ball, but I have no regrets. I thought I was going to be crushed in my 9-ball bracket, and in the first few matches played so well, that I really surprised myself.)

Last October, I did about the same, but felt great--It was such a tremendous improvement over previous regional tournaments. This time I was really disappointed that I had stagnated, and that I was undone by fatigue for a second year in a row.

So, the next week, I started working a little bit of exercise into my daily schedule. And then a couple things became apparent to me:

1) I am in TERRIBLE shape! Oh my god. I had no idea I had let my general conditioning slip this much. Just a quick 20 minutes was challenging. This is bad news, except that I know last year at this same time, I was in relatively good condition. SO that means, that maybe I had progressed, and if I only could get in better shape, I might see a big difference in my ability to go the distance.

2) A little goes a long way. It really doesn't take much exercise to boost up my energy level and mood. (I'm writing this to remind myself when I'm feeling lazy and having a hard time remembering whether its worth it).

And, then I remembered that although it felt like deja vu, I have gone up a skill level since last year in both games, so all my matches were longer and more competitive, so in many ways, doing about the same probably is progress, even if its just a little bit, I'll take it.

Worry less. Laugh more.

2010-10-09T09:35:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a longer pool related post that needs some serious editing, but in the meantime, I just wanted to blog about my dear friend Jennifer. Jennifer was one of my best friends in college, who died in an accident last year. (I want to say unexpected or tragic, but isn't that just the nature of accidents?).

After college, we drifted apart, wrote the occasional birthday email (how did she always remember mine?), saw each other at weddings, and then a year or so before her accident reconnected on a more regular basis on facebook. At the time of her accident, her husband posted an update on her status that "it could be worse." I took that to mean she would be okay, and for some reason expected that if anything important happened, facebook would be sure to let me know. It was two months later that I received a voicemail from a mutual friend saying there was something I should know, and I raced home to facebook to read all the updates that hadn't made my news feed...and that Jenn had been gone for a couple of months.

Its amazing how some people become so core to who we are, even though your lives move off into entirely different directions. In the moment that I realized the truth, my knees gave way, it was so startling. I've lost friends before...but they all had a more fragile grasp on life, somehow it wasn't surprising. But Jenn was so strong and passionate about living, it just didn't/doesn't make sense.

The anniversary of her accident is coming up in a few weeks. Her family has organized a memorial jazz concert entitled "Worry less. Laugh more." which has been the theme of all the events in her memory.

As I think about the past year, I realize that I have worried more, and laughed less. The laughing part, I'm not that bad at, but the worrying gets way too much of my time. So, Jenn, this is just to let you know that I'm thinking of you, and this year I promise: Worry less, laugh more. Miss you.

Boxed in

2010-10-01T05:57:00.000-07:00

This is the last weekend of my tournament blitz--the APA Singles Regionals. Its a 5-hour drive to the middle of nowhere, and its going to be hot, hot, hot this weekend. I swore that last October would be my last time going there (the national office has already said they would let me play in another location, if I gave them enough notice). But I do enjoy the comraderie with my leaguemates.

Anyway, its a weekend of barboxes, and I thought I post up one of my favorite series of barbox videos...Corey Deuel v. Niels Feijen, with commentary by Shawn Putnam and Troy Frank. There just doesn't seem to be much bar box 8-ball with commentary on video. I try to watch a few racks of Corey before every 8-ball tournament. Watching Corey's patterns really helps me see the table, and I also seem to pocket better. I think its a good reminder for my unconscious....the balls are supposed to go *IN* the pocket.

This is the first of 9 You Tube videos. I'll try to post all 9 later, as its kind of a pain to navigate to all of them in sequence. But here's the first for now. Enjoy! (This first rack is sick. I love the position he gets on the 1-ball)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

2010-09-24T16:32:00.000-07:00

Just a few thoughts before I head into another tournament weekend...

I recently rediscovered my copy of Mental Toughness Training for Sports (Loehr, 1982).When I say rediscovered, I mean literally, as it had been missing and I found it lodged behind my mattress. I'm not sure I've ever read this book cover to cover, but I like to periodically open it up and just read what I find. Its one of several books I keep with me at tournaments to keep my mind occupied while waiting. It helps me keep good thoughts in and and anxious, bored, squirrelly thoughts out.

Today, the book opened up directly to the section on Self-Motivation. How appropriate. So here is a rather longish excerpt (copyright experts feel free to berate me, I'm just to lazy to cut it down too much)...

"What do we do to maintain high levels of self-motivation, and what do we do to get it back when it's lost?.....Success is the universal antidote...your objective...is to program a diet of regular success."

"There are big successes, like winning Wimbledon or the Super Bowl, and there are little ones, like slapping the puck past he goalie on a break-away or sinking two pressure free throws to ice the game. All too frequently, the success of the little ones is muted by the failure of the big ones. Success and winning become scrambled."

"In a world where winners are everything and losers are nothing, making the wrong connection is easy. The right connection pairs success with effort, accomplishment and forward growth, not with winning the external contest. Steady success is the key to motivation. It's not a once-every-six-weeks affair. Its got to be constant. And big successes don't materialize over night. The are the natural consequence of the accumulation of hundreds of little successes."

"As one of the premier all-pros in the NFL wisely said 'You don't sneak up on success. You take it one inch at a time...'"

Hmmmm....interesting...a regular diet of success. Amidst a sea of brutal competition....what would that look like? Will it exclude cupcakes?..... or perhaps require them? I will ponder.

Unfortunately, the book is out of print, but you can find it on half.com.

Waking up

2010-09-17T06:29:00.000-07:00

I'm in the middle of a tournament blitz right now. I know this is normal for many of you pool nuts out there, but normally I play a tournament only every few months. But I did make it a goal to play more tournaments, so I started "throwing my hat over the wall", and just signing up. But, because I don't keep a calendar, I never realized that I had committed to a tournament almost every weekend. I'm in the home stretch, with the final four having started last weekend. I get three weekends tournament-free after that.

I thought about canceling a couple, for the sake of sanity and to avoid burn out. But something told me, that even if I wasn't exactly looking forward to it that I should just push through it. I've never done this before. Maybe something unexpected will come of it.

The competition is so much tougher at these events. Most of them are not handicapped. Doing well means winning at least one match by getting a lucky draw, and an unusually high number of nine-ball combos. I have worried how this was affecting my confidence. I've made the mistake many times of comparing my own level to others around me, wondered if all my efforts were paying off, thinking, "Shouldn't I be playing better by now?" "Am I stuck at this level?" "What if this is as good as I can get?"

I go. I play. I get my single win. Then I kinda want to go home. There is no hope, no belief that I could win this tournament. And this might be okay, even healthy, if it weren't for the fact that it means that in that last match of the day, I'm not fighting. Losing is not a good feeling, but losing after having given up, is far, far worse.

Last weekend, that's where I was.
My first match: I drew one of the top 4 players. I started off okay. And while I did try, I didn't really feel much pressure to do my best.
Second match: I played a newcomer to the tour. I got up 6-3, and then my opponent said that she didn't feel well, couldn't come back anyway, and con
ceded the final game. (Okay, well at least I got my one win).
Third match: Again, I came out pretty strong, and was actually playing pretty well. I was indifferent to the outcome, and found myself down 6-1. Then my opponent missed and left me a straight in 9-ball. Okay, 7-2. That's less embarrassing. Next rack I got to the 9 first and missed, and left her a very make-able shot. She missed leaving the 9 just of the rail next to the side pocket. Now something started to happen. I started to wake up. I couldn't cut it down the rail for fear of a scratch. The angle for the bank was a little wide. But I got down and committed a full, power stroke and the 9-ball zoomed straight into the opposite corner. My opponent was clearly rattled and started missing. I started playing well, and had two outs I'm really happy with. I got to 6-5, when my opponent got a lucky roll after missing an 8-ball, hooking me just enough to make it difficult to do much. I actually made a decent safe at least leaving her long, but she got out anyway. But I was down Hill-6, and had a shot to win.
A top player on the tour came up to me and said to me,"You fought HARD." Yes I did. It was a good reminder. Who cares if they're better than me? Its not the win. Its the fight. That's what I'm here for.

Get free stuff!

2010-09-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

No, not here, Silly! HERE: OMGWTF, the blog.

OMG is giving away a handmade key chain to the winner of her raffle. Just post a comment to the latest post and request one of the remaining numbers, which are (as of this posting):

27
30
34

I don't understand how 34 could still be available. Someone should snap it up now!

What? You don't need a key chain? Sign up anyway. If you win, give it to me :-). I really do need a key chain. I'm eying the Spineless Bastard, Pinky and the Cherries.

The raffle cannot take place until all the numbers are chosen, so hop to it. Pick a number!

What was I thinking?

2010-08-31T22:39:00.000-07:00

I am about to do something I've never done before...quit a team mid-season. Actually, its not really "mid", as the first match was just yesterday...but I'm such a goody-two-shoes that having said "yes, I'll join" on Sunday and then playing on Monday, makes me feel that I'm fully committed with no way out.

I just got back from Vegas on Saturday, found out my current APA 9-ball team disbanded, and I would need to find a new team to maintain my qualification for Singles Regionals next month. So, I quickly jumped on the first team that came along. When I arrived to the match Monday night, I found out that half the people had left the team (which I guess was why they needed me), and I was greeted with great enthusiasm, as - a) I was now the best player on the team (by 3 skill levels) and they needed me for time outs and to teach the new players how to play in my spare time, and b) I was one of two people on the team who could keep score. I had forgotten to let the captain know that I was thinking of playing the minimum 4 matches. He clearly had a different idea.

This was, of course, on top of:
a) my residual feelings of dissatisfaction with my home league that I was left with after Vegas. I couldn't help feeling that these people were better, because the people they played with were better.
b) the growing realization that I hate APA 9-ball.

And as I fretted after the match thinking "what have I gotten myself into?"...counting the weeks on the schedule, mourning the free Mondays I could have had, the Monday night tournaments I would have played, all because I had paid the entry fee for the 9-ball singles.

Then, as I added all of that up, I realized that my Mondays were so much more valuable than any entry fee I had paid....and if I were to be successful and qualify for Nationals, I would need to play yet another season of APA 9-ball and then travel to Vegas to play an APA 9-ball tournament. None of which I want to do.

So, I came to my senses and realized to not throw good money after bad, and just quit. (Well, the actual quitting has yet to be done, and I'm going to just do it outright. No 4 matches. I want off the team. (Okay, I'll admit I'm writing this in part to make sure I do it)).

Anyway, I feel like this is a big moment....putting MY priorities first. My time is too precious. My pool time either better be fun, or helping me reach my goals. No more treading water. Its time to start swimming ruthlessly.

Are we crazy?

2010-06-27T06:36:00.000-07:00

When I first joined a pool league, I never imagined that I would become so involved in the competitive aspects of the sport. I just enjoyed playing pool.

It never occurred to me that there were people who would spend a week of vacation in Vegas, at a tournament, that would require you to start 4 hour matches at 11pm, and then get up the next morning to do the same thing at 8am. I have a love-hate relationship with this part of pool. On the one hand, there's nothing more exhilarating than pushing through the exhaustion to play well when it really counts after a marathon of a tournament. On the other hand, sometimes I dread devoting a whole weekend for an event, knowing I could come up empty handed and completely spent at the end. (Okay, never really empty-handed because you always come away with the experience).

I watched some of the stream from Vegas OMGWTF v Borana match in May. Their match started around 11pm, and I fell asleep around 1:30 or 2:00. I woke up about 7, wondering what the outcome had been. If I had gotten my butt out of bed to restart my computer, I could have watched the end of the match live, because it was still going!!! It was inspiring.

But then sometimes when I try explain what I'll be doing on my vacation this year, or talk about how impressive the OMGWTF/Borana match was, I kind of wonder if we're just not at least a little bit crazy?

Fortunately, we're in good company, as there are plenty of other past-times (read: obsessions) that make all-night pool seem like rose gardening. Back in May, RadioLab aired an episode on Limits, and people who try to ignore them, which really puts it into perspective. Also, they discuss some interesting research that shows that physical limits, as we know them, are not necessarily absolute, but a way to keep our bodies from using up all its resources. Even better, there seem to be some ways to trick our body into giving up the extra reserve (although one of them involves exhaustion so extreme that it causes paranoid delusions. But hey, whatever gets you across the finish line, right?)

A couple of stories featured:

Julie Moss who entered the 1982 iron man without any serious training, or serious competitive intentions, and then found herself in the lead, without carbohydrates.

and,

Race Across America, an eight-day bicycle race across the continental U.S. Jure Robic, a Slovenian cyclist has won the race 5 times ( he won again earlier this month after the RadioLab show aired). The guy reportedly slept only 8 hours during the entire race.

Anyway, the next time I'm feeling sorry for myself that its late, I'm tired, hungry and don't want to play my match, I'll be thinking of these guys.

A return trip to the desert buffet....

2010-06-09T22:09:00.000-07:00

You know stuff like this really does deserve more of a build up, but I'm tired and kinda busy, so I'm just going to lay it out there: I'm headed back to Vegas for APA Team Nationals.

Of course, because I haven't been blogging much lately you can't really appreciate how crazy that is. At the beginning of the session, I joined a team that was designed to be a serious Vegas contender. (Basically a sister team, to the team I went to Vegas with last year). Then we had handicap issues and I was forced join a second team to guarantee I could play from time to time. My handicap issue was short-lived, as I returned to my average average, but by that point, I was stuck on both teams.

My original team never really took off. It was my second team, my B-team, that managed to rise to the occasion. Just to make things a little more twisted, in the finals, we played my Vegas team from last year. After I sunk the match winning 8-ball, my opponent, a player I deeply respect and admire, turned to the captain and said "I think we taught her a little too much."

It was bittersweet, but I was proud that I came through for my team. You gotta dance with the one that brought you.

You just gotta believe...

2010-05-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

A month or so ago, I played in a weekly handicap 9-ball tournament. I'd promised myself a "pool-free" weekend, because I was burnt out from so much league play. I was a little frustrated because although I didn't feel like playing, I knew that it was the kind of thing I needed to be doing to meet my goal of playing better big table 9-ball. So, I decided to not let my "league fatigue" get in the way, and played the tournament. I only won 1 match, but I did feel excited about pool again. I resolved to play more tournaments.

Last week, I woke up Saturday morning, realized it had been a month since I played a 9-ball tournament. A few more weeks of league under my belt, I was feeling even more resistant.

Earlier in the week, one of my teammates and I had been discussing the value of league v. tournaments. He was pretty emphatic that league is a tough way to improve. There's just too much non-play time compared to a tournament or practice. But tournaments are more expensive. His advice was:

Teammate: "Play more tournaments, and keep track of how much money you win, and how much money you invest in entry fee."

PM: Well, I don't really play these tournaments for the money. I'm just playing for the experience."

Teammate: "That's a bad attitude. You gotta go into these tournaments believing you can win. If you're just playing for the experience, you're not really getting any."

Hmmmm....I realized he was right. When I first started playing competitively, I always believed it was at least possible for me to win, no matter what the match up was (even if I may not have acknowledged it outwardly). I'm not sure when or why my attitude shifted, but I could see that I had stopped thinking that way.

Anyway, last Saturday, I had decided not to play.

Then, I thought about my teammate's comment...

I asked myself,"If I thought I was going to win the tournament, would I play?" The answer: "Hell yeah!" I grabbed my cue, got on the bus, said goodbye to the sunny day, and headed down to the pool hall.

Did I win the tournament? Nope, but I could have. I finished 3rd, and walked out with $100. Most importantly, it felt good to be honest with myself again....believing in myself and playing to win, is part of the experience I'm looking for.

Bowling, anyone?

2010-04-24T09:03:00.000-07:00

It so hard to find time to write these days. So, just a quick update to my post in February ("No pain no gain", and "No pain no gain, revisited.")

At the last minute I was able to get on a second team that could play me, even if I was over-rated. The league operator agreed to lower my skill level after a few weeks if it didn't work out. After a few losses, he kept his word, and dropped me down again. Of course, this falls under the "be-careful-what-you-wish-for" category. Now that I'm properly rated, both teams want to play me almost every week. On my original team we had another team member go up, so I'm in the opposite situation, if I don't play, we have to forfeit. Actually, my back-up team has had 3 other players raised (one of them twice), so its a similar situation there, too. After being worried that I wouldn't get to play enough, I'm playing too much.

Its been a struggle. But I have only two more weeks, and then I'll be free. I still enjoy the nights socially, but I find that I don't really look forward to the pool that much. Even if I play an interesting opponent. Even if I play well. It doesn't really matter. I used to keep a log of all my matches. With league matches, I don't even bother logging them anymore. I've really been working to maintain an attitude that in some small way EVERY match I play makes a difference, even if its not noticeable. But, on league nights I have to take it on faith.

The hassle of worrying about the APA handicapping has many of the other players looking at the BCA. My original team is having a serious conversation about taking a break from pool altogether and starting a bowling team, and then playing weekly pool tournaments together from time to time, instead of a formal team. Its a more expensive option, but you get to play a lot more pool in any one night.

My shoulder has improved immensely, after a week of rest and icing 3 times a day. Too much time on the computer can cause a flair up. I've also noticed I can get a dull ache that's distracting during tournament matches. Not sure if its from actually stroking or if its just muscle tension. The pain tends to be worse during matches where I'm not shooting as much ;-)

Dogs that play the piano and other mysteries

2010-03-29T21:48:00.000-07:00

A couple of weekends ago I participated in a late St. Paddy's Day pub crawl. I wasn't particularly in the mood to drink all day, but I had a friend who insisted I keep her company. So I agreed to stick around, and we would move along to the next destination a half hour or so ahead of everyone else to get some time to catch up, and warn the bartenders that they were about to be inundated by the temporarily Irish.

Fortunately, for me the last three stops of the crawl had pool tables.

For the final stop, we were a good hour ahead of everyone else, and my friend and I got in some good conversation, and some half way decent pool, on a pool table that was so bad it was probably still in the bar because it would cost more to get rid of it than to just keep it there. Once the crowd appeared, I played one game, and then was prepared to sit down, as there weren't really any serious pool players in the bunch. Earlier in the day, after I had held the table for awhile, people stopped wanting to play, so I just stepped aside to let others have a turn.

As I was about to give up the table, some guy came up and put quarters on the rail. I told him that the table was open (not because the pool was free, but the whole ball return & coin mechanism were completely broken), and that he could have the table and play whoever he wanted to. He said, "No. I want to play you."

We played several games, and then some doubles. He was actually very good, even in his inebriated state. But I was having a pretty good day, making banks caroms, kicking balls in...which was particularly surprising because the table was so bad.

At one point he said: "So, did your Dad play pool?" "No. He bowled." He contemplated this for awhile.

Ten minutes later, "Are you sure your Dad didn't play pool? How about your older brother?" "Nope." He furrowed his brow, finding this very confusing. As he was racking, he looked up and asked, "Boyfriend? Did you/do you have a boyfriend who plays pool?" I shook my head. Again, puzzlement.

At some point, you might imagine that he would ask if my mother or sister had played pool, but no such luck. Several times he returned to trying to get me to admit that my dad, brother or boyfriend had taught me to play. As I was leaving the bar, he tried one last time....it seemed to defy all expectation, like seeing a dog play the piano: a woman shooting a half-way decent game of pool. The only possible explanation was there must be a male mastermind behind such a pygmalionesque creation.

Of course, I've learned a lot from both men and women: instructors, teammates, and the few months when Coach helped me. I guess if I had to really pick the most influential, I'd have to say that a few good lessons early on when I started and then a few years of league pool gave me a foundation. But so much of what I know wasn't given to me by a mentor figure, but by hours alone at the table, or watching matches over the internet, and studying DVD's and books on my own.

I was so amused, I never gave him an explanation, but let him ponder this strange phenomenon, like what is the sound of one hand clapping or how could a creature without a Y-chromosome use a pointy stick to put balls into holes?

If all I ever accomplish with my mediocre pool game, is to have confused the hell out of this poor drunken soul, I will consider it all worth it.

No pain, no gain.....revisited

2010-02-15T20:44:00.000-08:00

After finishing my last post, I felt much better. The whole phenomenon of blogging is a little baffling to me. I'm not sure why sending out this message a bottle, so anyone (or no one) could read it is somehow more satisfying than writing in a private journal, but it is. (In case you don't want to read the long rambling post, recap is League Operator raises my skill level for arbitrary reasons and without warning, and as a result, I'll likely be benched for most of the season).

Well, with catharsis complete, I started processing the situation in a more constructive way ....as I thought more about the whole no pain, no gain process I remembered a quote from Trigger's blog post (see Pool is a Journey) about managing pain as a key component of success.

I looked up the whole article by Zig Ziglar, and this is the piece that caught my attention:

"Winners realize pain for the proper purpose is productive. You see, all of us will go through a lot of pain in life. Winners spend more of their time going through pain that aligns with their goals, their vision, or their purpose."

This has given me a lot to think about....How much of this pain is really aligned with my goals?

As I thought about that I realized, that none of the things that were upsetting me, were truly important to me. I enjoy the APA for social reasons, but even a year ago I was questioning if it was the right place to improve my pool. I do like the opportunities to compete nationally. But I've been to Nationals in 8-ball Team and 8-ball doubles twice. I've never been to Singles Nationals, but for whatever reason, my last performance in the Regionals has satisfied me for now, and I don't have a strong desire to try again. So, while these may have been goals at one time, right now, none of these are reasons for me to be concerned about being benched.

But what does excite me is improving my performance on the local women's regional 9-ball tour. And when I think about that, all of this seems easy. Less time in the APA means more time and money to play in 9-ball tournaments. There's also an alternative 8-ball league played on 9-footers that would actually be a better choice than APA. Things happen for a reason. Maybe this will be just enough to give me a push into some new and more challenging arenas.

So, when my League Operator said it was good for me to go up a skill level, he was right. Just not in the way he was thinking.

-----------------------------------------

And on a less serious note, if you haven't already seen it, you have to check out Joe Rogan channeling Earl Strickland. Hilarious. And if you have seen it, you may just want to watch it again. I just did.

No pain, no gain.....

2010-02-13T09:29:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when you feel pain, its hard to identify exactly where the true source of the pain is coming from....

That's how I feel this week.

Just as some general background, its been a tough start to the year. I've attended two funerals, had to cancel vacation because of work, helped pack two of my best friends off to new cities. My workplace has added 3 new "Chief Officers", no new "Indians", and a ton of new well-intentioned but misguided "projects"....the official description of the company environment at the recent board meeting was "challenged." God bless corporate understatement. The three most common "break time" activities are smoking (in a mostly non-smoking company), declarations of intention to quit, and sobbing in the bathroom. Okay, I am overcompensating for the previous understatement, but I'm exaggerating less than you may think. Its not a happy place.

Thank you, god, for giving me the oasis of pool.

However, I am less grateful for the tendonitis in my shoulder.

Over the last month or so, I was actually proud of myself for keeping my post-work practice sessions short (I sometimes get so absorbed, I spend way more time and money than I intend to). But now looking back, I wonder if I was keeping them short because they were painful. Its not hard to believe that I ignore anything that might suggest that I couldn't play whenever or for however long I wanted to.

It turns out that a change in my office space, and a less ergonomic desk configuration has been putting a lot of stress on my wrists and shoulders. It seemed kind of normal, with everything being so stressful, I didn't think much of the tension and periodic pain I was feeling.

For the last month, I have been really looking forward to returning to 8-ball league. Its the spring session. I love that intense end-of-year competition to qualify. I've been feeling good about my game, and I'm playing on a new night with a slightly revised roster which means I would be slated to play more upper level players than in past seasons. But, after the first week the shoulder pain was noticeable. I lost 0-4. I actually played okay, but I felt like I got my butt kicked. My 8-ball instincts were pretty rusty. I assumed both the sting of the loss and the pain in my shoulder would fade. I'd be ready for next week.

Then the updated roster was posted, and low and behold, despite my rather spectacular loss, I've gone up a skill level.

The league operator, who after seeing me play once a year ago has taken it upon himself to raise my skill level. Not because I'm a sandbagger. Not because others in the league are complaining. Not because the software told him so, but because he thinks the challenge will be good for me. As a result, I will likely be benched for the season. Our team is too top heavy to be able to play me regularly. Maybe its a blessing in disguise, with my shoulder and all....But what a time to lose my oasis. (Because the LO didn't give me any advance notice its too late to get on another team.)

I'm not happy about this. Probably more upset than I should be...I don't mind being a higher skill level, but I can't help but feel like I've cheated out of that moment of feeling like I've earned it. I wanted to play lights out one night, and then the next week everyone say, "Well, I'm not surprised."

Here are some of the reactions over the last week:

Random league person (RLP) #1: "Wow, Pool Minnow, you're a what now? Wow, who did you beat?"
Me: "Uh, no one. I lost 0-4"
RLP #!: "Huh. Congratulations, I guess?"

RLP #2:"How the F$#% are you a? No offense..."
PM: None taken. (I lied)

RLP #3: "Wow. What did you do to the League Operator?"
PM: "Pay my dues on time."
RLP #3: "That will teach you. NEVER do that."

And so on, with a range from reactions from "WTF?" to "you have your moments and you got potential, kid, but no offense, you ain't there yet", there was a consensus that I am now an overrated player. And the league is pretty much baffled by the league operator's behavior. In a league that has a ton of underrated players, he chose to raise 3 people, I was one.

I had a fair amount of email correspondence with the LO that I won't go into, but he doesn't seem to know his customers very well. He has some interesting ideas about why people do what they do. He's very well meaning. But, he's very green.

So, despite this moment being humbling instead of triumphant, the thing that really bothers me about the LO's actions, is I think he's, well, meddling. Sure he's the LO. He can set people's skill level to whatever he wants. But, in my mind, the whole point of a handicap system is to be fair. The LO should only step in when its clear the system is failing to accurately capture someone's skill, either because of imperfections in the system or because its being intentionally evaded. But the decision to move up a player for the purpose of challenging them, is a decision that should be made by a player, not the LO. But, since the current LO clearly sees things differently, I hope that he will bestow such kindness on the many much more talented players in the league so we can restore fairness.

I realize that a year from now this will all seem silly, and I will be rather embarrassed that I ranted so. (I try to avoid ranting to much in my blog, for that reason, and its hard to stick to only the essence of things without just spewing. Besides leagues have a way of sucking you into junior high drama over nothing) But right now, I'm mad. I promise, I'll come back with a more balanced, silver lining perspective in a week or so.

And, if it weren't for the fact that I've already spent more time on the computer than I should, I would rewrite this to try to tie together the themes of challenge, pain and gain, and when its all worth it...

But, there's no gain, in the shoulder pain, so you'll just have to imagine it yourself.

Its still a gentleman's sport: all profanity is submerged.

2009-11-09T22:30:00.000-08:00

I may be the last person in the world to see this, but I figured if I posted it, I might find at least one or two other people who haven't seen it either. A more serious post is in the works, but in the meantime, remember, you may not be able to choose your family, but at least you can choose where to play pool.

Now that everyone has lost interest, I can secretly begin blogging again

2009-10-12T23:59:00.001-07:00

Well, sort of. From the depths of time, will soon, emerge some new posts. Please stand by.

Its a little pathetic that I didn't even finish blogging about APA Nationals. And I'm torn between doing a quick update or actually taking the time to do a proper narrative. I know that no one out there really cares, but as the real purpose of this blog is to record my own journey, I'd kind of like to take the time to do it right.

But, for the record I will bore you with a brief update on what's happened in the past month, just in case I never get around to writing more:
* I played well in the APA 8-ballTeam Nationals, and my team finished 129th out of 712. Much better than I expected.
* Even though I played A LOT of pool in Vegas, I came back fired up to play more and more....but after the adrenaline wore off in a week, I was ready for a break, but previous commitments meant no rest for the pool-weary.
* US Amateur Preliminary was next. I went two and BBQ, but I was happy with how I played in my first match, especially given that I really didn't feel like playing.
* I opted out of playing in the West Coast Women's Regional 9-ball tour because I really needed a weekend off.
* Traveled 5 and a half hours to Bakersfield, to play in the APA Singles Regional Tournament and was undefeated until the semi-finals in both 8-ball & 9-ball. I now officially hate the Single Modified format (although it did help me get home at a decent hour on Sunday).
* After not qualifying for Singles Nationals, I immediately texted my 8-ball captain and told him I was taking the session off. I planned to do the same for 9-ball, but made the mistake of trying to tell him in person, and I chickened out. I'm only a part-time player for 9-ball, so I still feel like I have a lot more freedom. Woohoo!
* When I started this blog several ago, it was about becoming a better player, but it was also about getting to Vegas. Along the way, my perspective has broadened quite a bit and I have other goals, but something about getting that checked off my list...its oddly freeing. It really feels like I've reached a milestone, and I'm not sure what's next.

On another note, in the past, I have gone out of my way to avoid or even change telling details in my blog so that I could be sure to remain anonymous.
(I know its a little strange to want to be public through a blog, but still expect to remain private, but I have my reasons).

Well after these years of blogging, I've decided the effort to conceal and deflect is more trouble than its worth, and that I'd rather just not worry about it. I won't be posting my name or photo, as I'm not really interested in being a known blogger, but not really bothered if you're curious to know who I am and figure it out. If as a result of this new policy, you realize that you know me and think that you read something about you that offends you slightly, I offer two interpretations: 1) I'm not talking about you, 2) you deserved it. If you're not okay with interpretation #2, my preference is that you choose to believe interpretation #1. After all, its just a blog :-)

Eternal Sunshine of the Paris Slot Machines

2009-08-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

Well, the upside of losing, is that I get a day off. Fortunately, I don't have to spend it with my doubles partner.

I do have another tournament to prepare for. And although I feel good about how I played, I really do, At the same time, on some level, I'm kind of unnerved by my partner's reactions. I called up a friend who coaches collegiate basketball and has done a lot of mental training. And while he agreed, it was no fun, he was pretty clear, that no matter what my partner said or reacted, it should have NO impact on my confidence in my ability. None.

"As lame as this sounds, that's why they call it SELF-confidence. So, your partner had some blips in his mental game. His mental game and your mental game are different, especially now that you aren't playing doubles anymore. Whatever boost you were getting from his support in the past, you've just got to find it within yourself now. In the long run, its probably a good thing. No more crutches. "

"Thanks, that just the wise, if slightly irritating, kind of advice I suppose I need."

"Either that, or just eat, drink and gamble yourself into a stupor. It may not help your pool game, but it could be fun."

Who are you, and what have you done with my partner?

2009-08-22T22:00:00.000-07:00

Day 2. Scotch Doubles. My normally supportive partner is replaced by his evil twin. He pouts when I miss. Tells me what I did wrong in the middle of the match. When I play well, and we pull off match #1 of the day, he's not excited or complimentary, or grateful for the lucky rolls. He acts like, "well, of course we should win." We lose match #2. I play well, but miss a few tough, but critical shots. He sulks, and then just takes off.

I'm probably making it sound worse than it was, but seriously, I was like WTF? I feel like crap. I went over the shots I missed again and again, and wondered, what happened? They weren't easy, but they were makable. All of them I missed by just a hair. Did I just not want to win? Did I just give it away? Did I choke? Were my fundamentals off?

After much analysis, I have come to one conclusion: I missed.

I'm tempted to look at my partner's behavior and try to figure it out. All I will say, is that I've seen his own game go south because he can't manage his feelings when he doesn't meet his own high expectations. But as a doubles partner, in the past, he's never imposed those expectations on me. Last year I played miles over my head in this tournament. This year I'm a stronger and more consistent player. I would say I played well this year, but I didn't vastly exceed my average playing ability. Maybe that was a factor. But, anyway, that's his problem to figure out.

My problem was, and is, that his attitude got to me. During the match, I think I did okay at trying to not let it bother me. The whole tournament there had been subtle changes in the way he coached and acted toward me. It was a little distracting, and I could feel it undermine my confidence ever so slightly. I don't think it affected my performance too much, but it really made it A LOT LESS FUN. Part of the reason I played so well last year, was that I let go and just really enjoyed myself.

Its hard, because, sometimes when I need a little extra confidence on an 8-ball shot, I imagine him giving me words of encouragement. Now, I feel like that's gone. Instead its replaced by his words of criticism and the look of disappointment on his face when I missed those shots. Ugh.

Somewhere in the desert

2009-08-22T08:38:00.000-07:00

Ah yes. Vegas.

It was 108 degrees when we got here, but the weather forecast has been toned down to a more reasonable high 90's. Almost feels like a cooling rain has drenched the city.

Although it doesn't matter much, because, as you can imagine, I'm spending a lot of time inside the Riviera Casino. Its amazing how fast a year goes. I almost feel like we never left.

Anyway, Day 1 of the scotch doubles was pretty much a repeat of last year. We made it to the third round undefeated and then lost. Which, if you're going to lose, is the best time to do it. Its the last round before single elimination kicks in anyway, and you only need one more match to make it back to the winner's side. If you make it to the winner's side, you're coming off of a one-loss side win, and your opponents haven't played for almost 24 hours. (That's a long wait) And from there its a marathon.

Up to the third round we played well. Starting the tournament, I was a little uncertain how it would go, because I had been playing horribly in practice. I mean horribly. And while I tried to tell myself that, its only practice and I know that its not a predictor of how I'll play in a match, I just kept sucking, and I started to be a little concern.

Once we got into real competition though, it was like I was a different player. My heart started pounding, the adrenaline started flowing, and thank god, the balls started finding their way into pockets again. We had a good rhythm. We played good safes. We made nice outs.

It is amazing to me how much the time I've spent on working with the mental side has changed things. When I first started playing, my heart pounding was such a bad sign. It meant that I was too nervous and wouldn't be able to perform my best. And now, it doesn't bother me at all. In fact, it can be a good thing. I've found that when I don't let it bother me, it actually means that I'm really in the game, and I can actually play some of my best pool at these times.

Going into match #3, I felt good. I was excited to play and feeling confident. I usually try to meditate before a match, but I felt very calm and present, so I decided to skip it. At the time, I wondered if it was a mistake, but I really felt good. The match started out okay, but in the middle I started to get tired, think too much, and was getting a little tired. And all of these things are actually okay. They are pretty much bound to happen at some point in the tournament. The problem was that I wasn't monitoring my state of mind so these things continued unchecked. Even though the results should have clued me in to step back, breathe, and change course.

I think the truly low point of the match for me was when the other team was on the hill and I went to play safe. The shot was a simple stop shot to hide behind another ball. But in my over-thinking mode, I decided that I needed to hide the ball completely, and needed to replace the ball, or I'd miss the hook. Of course I over hit it, and sold out. In hindsight, that was incredibly stupid, because a partial hook was all I needed.

But its a good lesson. Mostly about trying to train myself that when things aren't going right on the table, I need to stop and look inside and what's going on mentally. If I'm tired, thinking too much, being indecisive, I need to just stop. Remind myself to keep it simple and not exceed my abilities, and remember that its only a game, even if its a game I really want to win.

So, our next shot is this afternoon. Wish me luck.

Must I paint you a picture?

2009-07-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, nothing really pool related today, but I'd like to buy a camera before Vegas and I'm looking for recommendations. I'm not sure what I want to do, get a ultra-compact point and shoot, that will be cheaper and convenient, but more limited in what I can shoot. Or spend more to get something like a low-end superzoom camera, so I can go a little crazy.

As you might imagine, I might take a few pictures in the pool scene....so I'm looking for something that's good in low light and has good image stabilization. I've posted on a few camera forums, and I've heard something to the effect of, if you're taking pictures at pool tournaments, NOTHING less than an SLR will do, you might be able to get by with something for about $800. Sigh. Even if I could afford an $800 camera, I'm not sure I'd want to be carrying it around.

Then, for a compact, if I MUST, they recommend a discontinued Fuji camera which is now available on ebay. (Maybe it is the best low-light compact camera ever built, but its still kind of pricey for a compact that comes with no warranty).

So, I'm throwing this out to the blogosphere...

Any pool player out there with a camera that they love?

Good stuff

2009-07-05T12:02:00.000-07:00

I'm not in the mood to talk much about myself right now. I'm playing pretty well, and my inclination is to just let it be and not over analyze it...or even relive it here in my blog. I'm just going to enjoy it one moment at a time...and *maybe* you'll hear about it later.

Instead, I thought I'd point out a couple of great posts from AZBilliards that I recently came across. I love AZB, but mostly for its entertainment/social value. It can be light on serious pool content, but Jude Rosenstock's posts are usually full of real pool stuff. These two posts, on great shots to know for B & C players, I thought were especially good:

Want to Get Better? This is How. Pt 1
Want to Get Better? This is How. Pt 2

What's great about these shots, is not only are they ones you will use, but as Jude describes, they are one's that teach you a lot about english, speed control and other fundamental concepts. Simply, they are shots that can change your game.

At one time, I had hoped that I would catalog these kind of shots in my blog. Last year when someone showed me the second shot from Part 1, I thought it was a little too challenging for me. But once I got it, I felt like my understanding of the game went from two to three dimensions. I saw so many more options for getting from here to there, the layouts never looked quite the same again. Learning that one shot was a "life" changing moment.

If I discover anymore of these shots, I'll try to include them here. But for now, Jude has done a good start on creating a great list of shots that can change your life. Thanks, Jude. Still waiting parts 3-5.

Cruel summer

2009-06-27T08:24:00.000-07:00

9-Ball Break & Run/Break Cue Challenge: Week 1

After setting up my challenge of having a 9-ball break and run before Vegas, I realized I needed to set a few parameters, or I could end up chasing my tail, trying to run unrunnable rack after unrunnable rack, and just wasting my practice time.

So, here are the rules: I can count any break & run in a league match or any other friendly match up. During practice, I get only 5 attempts per week. I can try to run as many racks as I want, but I have to choose, before the break, whether its a challenge rack.

During league, I played well, but none of my breaks produced layouts that were likely to earn me my break cue. No patch. No break cue. Maybe during practice.

Last night, I practiced for a bit, and was feeling pretty good. I hit one practice rack of 9-ball and then started on my 5 challenge racks. First 3 racks, I make a ball every time, control the cue ball, I have a shot on the 1, but either the 2 or the 3 is in a bad spot, so I don't get very far.

Rack #4, I get a good break. The balls spread out evenly. The cue ball centers itself nicely. The 1-ball stops just short of rolling in the side pocket. Dry-break. Grrrr. I go ahead anyway, thinking maybe I should count runs off a dry-break. After all, you're actually pocketing one more ball, right?

I focus on each shot, and get pretty much perfect on each one, until the 6. Of course, I actually put the cue ball where I wanted it. Then I walked to the other side of the table and looked at the shot and thought "What was I thinking. This shot sucks." Fortunately, the 7 was a hanger, so I make the 6,7,8. I'm a little steeper and closer on the 9 than I wanted, but still very makeable.

This could be it.

I start writing in my follow up blog post entitled "Well, that was easy."

I'm lined up. It looks right. I think about how I wrote in my last blog post that I run down to the nine and miss. I think this time is different.

So, what happened?

Did I:
a) Go ahead and pull the trigger.
b) Stop myself. Realize this was for a break cue. This was like a $200+ shot. I had a little too much stream of consciousness going on to be fully focused on making this $200 dollar shot. I got up again. Centered myself and nailed it.

Do I really have to say...the answer is A!

Get up. If you're not sure, if you're not committed, if the shot matters, get up!

Rack #5. Make a ball. Center the cue ball. Shot on the 1. The 3 is completely buried and I don't see a break out.

This is a great challenge for me and I feel like I'm learning a lot, just from the 5 racks I shot last night.

Obviously, I really need to bear down on the 9 more, but my break needs a lot of work. Not sure why the making a ball tends to go with a clustered rack. I've noticed that before. When I break dry, I usually leave my opponent an easy rack.

I haven't spent a lot of time on my break, because I was advised early on, that until you can run out, its not the best use of your time. If I'm going to stick to my original goal of an actual break and run, now may be the time.

My new break cue....

2009-06-21T17:15:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I posted about my search for a new break cue. I looked both high and low, with contenders ranging from the Icebreaker, Mezz Powerbreak to the J&J. I was very tempted by the high end, but I just couldn't spend that much money on a cue I hadn't tried, especially if it was a luxury item.

I was about to go for the J&J when a friend of mine offered to sell me his cheap sneaky pete for $25. I've always liked this cue. Its nothing special, but for some reason I always seem to play well with it, and it breaks fine. Plus it can double as a playing cue when I'd rather leave my regular cue safely at home. It was a bargain I couldn't resist.

(Incidentally, a few days later the BCA announced they were banning break cues with phenolic tips, so it will be interesting to see what happens to the break cue market).

I haven't given up the idea of getting a nice break cue...but I did decide that before I spend that kind of cash on a pool item, that it shouldn't just be an impulse buy; it should be attached to reaching some kind of meaningful milestone.

I've had a few break and runs in 8-ball, but I have never, ever, not even in practice, run a rack of 9-ball. I've come close, running down to the 9, getting great position...and every time, I've dogged it.

So, here's the plan...if I get my 9-ball B&R by the end of August, when I'm in Vegas for APA Nationals, I can do a little shopping.

So, here we go, sixty days and counting.

V is for.....

2009-06-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

Vindication.
Victory.
Vegas.
Booking my tickets for end of August. Woohoo. Go team go!!

Still taking a break

2009-06-07T22:11:00.000-07:00

Okay, in case it isn't obvious, I'm taking a little break from blogging. Between work, pool, and making sure I have adequate rest, I just haven't had time to put together a coherent post, and haven't felt like I wanted to just ramble. After next week, I should be able to get back into the swing of things.

So, a few random things that have happened recently, and I'd like to blog about:
* I actually had a dream where John Schmidt told me that I was doing okay, but it would be a good idea for me to set some goals. I was looking for my shoes, and he was playing straight pool with Nick Varner, and stopped to come over to talk to me just to say that. He returned to his game, and I kept looking for my shoes. I guess I need to set some goals, and perhaps organize my closet.
* I've been re-reading "Mental Toughness Training for Sports by James Loehr. And have some different reactions to it the second time around.
* I took the PAT 1 exam. I wasn't feeling particularly well, and was trying to keep my table time down, so I rushed a little bit. I ended up with 444 out of a possible 1549. (Hey, I never claimed to be anything but a D Player). But I think on a better day, with a little practice, I could score as well as 600, (maybe...). (800 is considered passing). I was actually pretty pleased.
* I have been playing pretty well in matches when it matters, but I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground and remember all the times in those matches that I got lucky or where my opponent gave me a second chance. We're in the middle of league tournament season, and its no time to get over-confident. Even if I'm in stroke its still just one ball, one game, one match at time.

I guess I just rambled, but in an efficient, almost tidy kind of way. I can live with that. Anyway, wish me luck over the next week!

I could be blogging....

2009-05-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

but I'm too busy watching John Schmidt and Chris Bartrum playing a 10 ahead set. Am I am in Vegas? Nope. I'm stuck in New Jersey for work, which would be incredibly boring if it weren't for the fact that I can stay in my hotel and watch all the live streams from Vegas. Last night at 4:00 am I couldn't sleep, so I pulled up the Predator 10-ball tournament website and got to see Alex Pagulayan run out his final rack on his match. Unbelievable.

God bless the internet, and god bless the action report (and sponsors OB Cues, Cue Sports International and Dragon Promotions, too. I love TAR best, but I love all the other choices too).

I need a break

2009-04-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

I have been working like a dawg, although that really doesn't even begin to capture how much pressure I've been under at my job. There must be a more colorful way to describe it, but creativity was killed in action several days ago. Lets just say, a zombie would have no interest in my brain. Its just too dried out.

I have managed to squeeze in a little pool, and I wish I had time to write about it. Basically, my lowered expectations seem to be helping my league game, so much so, that the temptation to raise expectations is pretty strong. The pool gods are simply evil to be toyng with me that way. (Just kidding, Pool Gods That Be, I really didn't mean that. I LOVE YOU! I am but your humble servant.)

Anyway. I need a break at work. Which I will get eventually. Just not immediately, so I've decided to at least get myself a break cue. I'm tempted to splurge here and get something top of the line, but I realize for my little pool life, it would be a total luxury item. I know that everyone raves about the Predator BK2, and I've tried one, and liked it a lot. But its just so "THE" break cue, that I know its not the one for me. I'm considering getting a Mezz ZZBK. It seems like the Mezz is the up and comer in break cues and that appeals to me. The ZZBK Power Break II is probably more than I want to spend, even on a splurge, unless someone tells me that its really worth the extra money.

But at the end of the day, I love a bargain, so I may just settle for a J & J, save the extra cash for Vegas.

Anyone have any Break Cue recommendations???

The power of numbers

2009-04-11T08:56:00.000-07:00

Over time I've become kind of uninterested in my APA league stats. Each match is its own event, and I know how I played. At one time I tracked my win-loss record closely because its is used to calculate the "Top Shooter" points. (The Top Shooter score is your win percentage multiplied by the cumulative points of the skill level you've beaten. ) The top 20% or so of the Top Shooters get to play in the Top Shooter Tournament at the end of the session.

So, if you're playing 5s, 6s & 7s frequently, and you play a lot of matches, your win percentage can be around 50 percent to qualify. On the flip side, if you're like me, and you almost exclusively play 2s & 3s, your only chance to make the cut is to play every week and win almost every match. And even then its not guaranteed. Basically, the math excludes me from the tournament so, I've lost interest in my actual percentage.

At one point last season, when I was struggling to find the motivation to win against weaker players, someone said, "Well, don't you just want to win for the sake of pride?" I was kind of surprised to find that, at least in that moment, the answer was no.

Anyway, this is a long segue into mentioning that the APA National Website now has a member section where you can log on and see the number of matches you've played (since 2003) and your win percentage. I was shocked to find out that I had played 170 8-ball matches and my win percentage was 43%. (That's what I get for playing on 3 teams and lots of singles qualifiers, I guess) I was even more shocked to find out, that for some reason, I actually cared about this lifetime number, and found myself wanting to win just to bring that closer to 50%. I'm not unhappy with 43%. In a handicapped league, most people's percentages should probably be around 50%. I'm in the ball park. But, I'm such a geek that after winning the next week, I logged on so I could see that number go up to 44%.

I'm not sure what it really means, other than I've lost more than I've won. It doesn't tell you how much I've improved, or how well I played in any of those matches. It doesn't tell you if I was simply outplayed or whether I snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. But it still gives me something to shoot for, even when I don't have a lot of other incentives.

So, yay to the APA for doing something that gives me more for that $5 in extra membership fees I paid this year. I do appreciate it.

Raising the floor

2009-03-26T22:14:00.000-07:00

After months of struggling with being bored by my matches and disappointed in my shooting, I'm settling into a good space with league again. I've finally accepted that as one of the lower ranked players on my team, it is for now, simply my job to play the lower ranked players from the opposing team, and win for the team.

My record against lower ranked players is not that good at the moment. When I get bored, I take risks to make things a little more interesting, and end up making mistakes that, in a short race, can mean losing. So winning means I have to make some adjustments. I've decided that in league, I'm not working on pushing the ceiling, but working on raising the floor. I'm not showing up anymore with the goal to play lights out pool. I'm trying to simply be consistent. Try to make each shot. Get some kind of shape. Play the right ball. Play safe when its smart and will win the game. Nothing fancy.

On league nights, I often show up tired and even if I'm not, if I don't feel challenged, I may not be focused. Most likely, I'm not going to be able to play at the top of my game. Instead of trying to fix this, but accept it, I've been playing better. As a perfectionist, I find this almost disappointing, but I'm enjoying league again, so I'm not going to argue with it.

So, I've found some balance in my expectations. But, in general, I've realized that if there is indeed one thing that will improve my game, it has nothing to do with my stroke, my aim, my pre-shot routine. For now, my number one pool goal is to get more SLEEP.

A fresh start

2009-03-14T10:45:00.000-07:00

Yes. I am still here. This may be the longest break from blogging I've taken since I started. I guess there were weeks when I just didn't have much to say, and then other times when I had almost too much on my mind, that I didn't feel I could get it into a coherent post, so I just stayed away.

The last couple of months have been kind of up and down. I've been dealing with some health issues and not getting a lot of sleep, which has meant I've had a hard time controlling my emotions at the pool table. If I have a lot of frustration from elsewhere in my life pent up, apparently, when I compete, it just all starts to bubble up. So either, I need to channel that energy in a positive way, find away to let go of it while I'm playing. But just when I'm about to give up and think that all my effort just isn't worth it, I have a good day, and remember that despite all evidence to the contrary, there are signs of improvement.

Anyway, I'm just going to let the last few months go and start fresh.

I now have a greatly reduced league schedule. Hooray! Which means I will not be playing matches I don't want to play, and will give me more time and energy to play more tournaments, practice and do non-pool stuff, like exercise (which really helps me be less stressed when I play).

I'm taking a week to think about what my pool goals are for the year. I saw that Trigger over at "Pool is a Journey" has taken on just one simple goal: To stay down on her shots. When its so easy to create a long wish list of things to improve, I think its genius to just pick one very important goal. If you achieve it, then your whole game improves.

I've been thinking a little about what one thing I would choose. You really couldn't go wrong with staying down, but I often wonder if I get up on shots because something else wasn't right. For one reason or another, I didn't feel comfortable or committed to the shot. In preparing for a recent tournament, a friend of mine got some advice from a Philippino sparring partner. "Just remember the 3 P's of pool: pockeTING, PREParAtion, and POCUS. (You really need the accent to get the full effect). Of the three, as much fun as it might be to have my goal be related to the most interesting sounding of the 3 Ps, (either pockeTING or POCus), I think preparation is my downfall. I really think that I when I miss, its because I haven't centered myself mentally and I've gotten down on the ball wrong, even if I see the aim point correctly....and from there everything can get screwed up.

Okay, its after 11 which means the pool hall is open, and I really, really need to get some breakast.

Trying to shift gears

2009-01-31T11:03:00.000-08:00

Between the holidays and some business travel, I had a nice long break from pool. Sure I played some, but I had a solid 5 weeks away from league pool, which is the most time I've have since I started 3 years ago.....ah, it was fabulous. I've made up my mind that unless I qualify to play in an event at the APA National Team Championships, which would mean I have to be on a team continuously through August, I'm taking a break this summer. (I just hope that doesn't unconsciously give me an incentive to not qualify). Just knowing that, somehow makes league seem less onerous...

So, a quick recap on recent matches:

Match #1: Jetlagged. My team anxiously awaits to see which pool minnow will show up after my break. Will it be "Vegas Minnow", determined to beat all comers, or "I'm not sure I want to play league anymore" Minnow who loses the match after losing interest about half way through. Verdict: after an hour and 55 minutes, the race to 3 (yes, almost two hours for a race to three), I lost hill-hill to a guy whose volume is stuck on 11. It was much easier to play him before I knew him and found him to be a sweetheart in spite of the pre-shot routine that incorporates air guitar and the "why me" dramatics following every miss. My lesson: sometimes, if there isn't that much on the line, its worth it to just bust up the clusters. Even if it means you risk selling out without increasing your chances to win. I had no idea the match was actually taking that long, but by the end, my teammates were almost on suicide watch. At this point, I'm uncertain whether the time off did much good. This sucks.

Match #2: Asleep on the couch. My match started after midnight. A race to three. My opponent was drunk and loose, I had just taken a nap on the couch, and was not used to the big cue ball. It took me about a game to make a ball, and then I figured it out, and was playing good-enough safes, and making some small runs. She was shooting well, but getting sloppy at the end of her runs and letting me back in. In the hill-hill match, she ran down to the eight and then had no shot. I got ball in hand, and felt pretty confident about making my last 5 balls, when I bumped one of my balls and almost froze it to the eight. I set up to have the choice to either break it out, or position myself to play safe. In the end, I didn't really choose, and kind of went for the break out, but didn't stroke through it, and froze the cue ball to the 8, with my last ball just on the other side. Sweet. I missed the kick, and lost. Lesson: If you're going to go for it, just go for it.

Despite losing, and despite having to play so late and not being thrilled with how I played, I left this night excited about playing again. I wanted a rematch. I wanted to kick ass. I actually.....cared? Really? Yes, I actually cared.... Wow, maybe there's hope for me yet....

To be continued....

Boring update not really deserving a catchy title

2008-12-12T17:57:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to give a little update, in case I don't get around to actually doing a real post this weekend.

I've taken a nice long break from league play. I haven't played since before Thanksgiving and have permission to sit out until February unless there's an emergency. I really appreciate that I have teammates that are willing to support me....or maybe they just want to get rid of me. But when you keep going when you know you shouldn't, it doesn't work for anyone.

I started off the season with a clean slate, and it showed in my game. But I noticed on the weeks I played league, I tended to be less focused in practice. And each week it got a little worse. Maybe, it was just exhaustion from the late nights, or maybe all the league drama was sticking to my brain more than necessary.

In my extra time, I've been following my plan of playing pool in different situations, playing more 9-ball, and sticking to a revamped practice routine to focus on basics. It feels great. And at the moment, I have no desire to return to a league at all, but I'm sure that will change.

Also, who needs league when there's so much great pool that's being streamed live on the web? In the last few weeks, the Great Southern Billiard Tour One-Pocket & 10-ball, Ring Game in Olathe, KS, and now the Reno Open on AZBTV. Its great to be able to watch good pool with out having to travel to the wintry locations that are so good for the sport!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water

2008-12-10T21:55:00.001-08:00

If you've been following my blog for a year or so, you know that I have been a fan of OMGWTF's "Bitch I will cut you" Bunny T-Shirt. (A great Christmas gift for the Bitchy Bunny in your life, or better yet Easter...). There's a whole menagerie of cuddly animals with attitude, to surprise and amuse those who dare to stare.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water....there is now, Pool Minnow the T-Shirt, created by OMGWTF and inspired by this blog.

I'll post pics later, but for now, here's the link to check it out, and buy one yourself. (I'm hoping that it might be possible to get them in kid sizes at some point).

Pool Minnow T-Shirt

Thanks, OMG. I'm honored.
Still just a minnow with big dreams of kicking butt up the food chain....and someday, maybe, being closer to the top of it. But now I'm a minnow with a new T-Shirt. Hooray! Laundry can wait another day...more pool!

How good am I?

2008-11-30T21:25:00.000-08:00

This week I entered my first weekly tournament (at last, actually following through on the plans I've set out on this blog). There were some other big tournaments in the area, so turnout was a little light, which was fine by me. It was a small, fairly laid back, $10 buy-in handicapped 9-ball tournament. It was great to be doing something different, and to see some new faces, as well as on average a much higher caliber of player than in my APA league.

To set my handicap, they used my APA Skill Level. I was give a "C" rating, the lowest in the system. This made sense to me because I have a hard time imagining that I'm more than a D player, but they didn't have D's. I guess some people don't like the letter "D" so they cut it out and a la Spinal Tap added "11" to the dial.

My first match I went down to a 5-1 defeat to a "AA" player, picking up one rack after he left an easy 2-ball out. I played some decent safeties, but mostly didn't have much of a chance to shoot. I was happy though, because I had come here to get my ass kicked by people who should kick my ass, and that's exactly what happened.

My match on the losers side was also against a "AA" player. He made some mistakes, and I shot quite well, for me, and took the first rack. The next rack, I was getting ridiculously lucky, double banking shots in, slopping a ball in on a carom when I was going for a combo. I started to feel a little guilty, missed an easy shot, and he ran out. Third rack, he seemed to be in control, but it was a tricky pattern. I got to the table a couple of times and I left him a tough bank on the eight, which he went for and barely missed, leaving me an easy shot in the side with effortless shape on the nine on the end-rail. I win, 2-1.

I overheard a "wow" on the sidelines, as in, "I can't believe he just lost." Yes, its a little twisted, this crazy game of 9-ball. I got some lucky rolls, and he sold out. He was the better player. I won the match. But, if these things didn't happen every now and then, what's the point of even having a handicapped tournament?

As it turns out, one of the spectators was my next opponent. An "A" player. He didn't seem happy about my rating, although he wasn't making a fuss. When I asked him if he thought I should be a "B" player, he said, "You just beat so&so 2-1. That's amazing." "Well, you saw that match. If I got those rolls all the time, I can beat just about anyone." Which was meant as a humble observation on our fickle sport, although I sensed that it may not have been taken that way. Anyway, my luck continued, and I won 2-2 (in a 2-4 race) when he rattled the 9.

Next match, I was treated to a 0-7 slaughter by one of the best players there. I had a couple of chances to get out, but it was late, and I was more in observe mode, than attack mode. I hadn't really set out to win this match (not that any effort on my part was likely to change the outcome). I was happy to watch this talented kid work his way through his run-outs and learn sitting from a front row seat. Hooray, order was restored to the universe. The C player was knocked out.

All in all, I was very happy with the tournament. But it did leave me wondering "How good am I?", and realizing that's a question that I'm constantly trying to answer, but better off leaving alone as much as I can. There are some instances where that question is important, but most of the time trying to answer that just holds me back. Its just a tiny step away from "Will they like me?" or "Do I deserve to win?" or "Who am I?". These questions have no place in pool. Actually, when I'm playing, any questions beyond the scope of the table are just out of order.

So, I hereby swear to stop contemplating the meaning of life when I play and to never, ever again feel guilty for:

* Lucky rolls. We all get them from time to time. It only angers the Pool Gods to squander these gifts.
* Winning when a better player sells out. If they give it away, I'll make them pay. I'm the opponent, and that's my job.
* My handicap and whether people think its fair. I'm new here. If someone has a problem with my rating, they can tell the tournament director and I will happily abide by their decision. That's his/her job.

All zenned up with no place to go

2008-11-19T10:25:00.000-08:00

Its probably a bad idea to blog when I'm as grouchy as I am right now. I'm grouchy about work, grouchy about the weather, grouchy about pool, I'm grouchy about my weak coffee and overly sugary muffin. Grouchy about my computer. Grouchy about the earth's axis and my distance from the equator and what its doing to the daylight right now.

But weak coffee and slow computers aside....

I'm in kind of a strange place with pool right now. On the one hand, I feel like my clean slate has really done my game some good. (There's really a whole other post in the details of that, but not today). On the other, I've been increasingly frustrated with league, and have been pretty much the opposite of zen on league nights.

Partially, its just pent up stress from work that's spilling into after hours, but its also that I suspect the APA isn't good for my game right now. That's not to say that I have everyone's number and I'm definitively kicking ass left and right. I am still a tiny, tiny fish in a small pond. But, its a lot of the same fish, and familiarity breeds boredom. Boredom breeds sloppy pool. Sloppy pool leads to drinking. Which leads to grouchy mornings at work.

So, its time to really get clear on my goals for the next year or so, (I know, how many times have I said that?), and then think about how I spend my pool time. I doubt that I'll drop APA completely, but if what I'll really enjoy is getting my butt kicked by someone who really knows how to do it and can teach me something, then I've got to get outside of league, because the opportunities for that are too few and far between here.

Long time, no update

2008-11-05T15:49:00.000-08:00

Its been quite awhile since I updated. I've been having some difficulty with my home internet connection again, and work has been too demanding to sneak in blogging time on the job.

I'll get into some details later, hopefully this weekend, but I'm feeling really good about the new perspective. My game has been up and down...but mostly because so has my life. But when I'm both motivated and have relatively few distractions from my personal and professional life, I've played well. Not playing like I know I "can", but more like I think I "should." In other words, I haven't been finding the elusive zone, and playing as if handed a magic cue from above. That does happen every now and then. Its great, but it can also ruin my appreciation for those days when I only play "good."

So, I've been playing "good." And really, right now, that's all I want.

Repacking Pandora's Box

2008-10-20T23:07:00.000-07:00

I decided this weekend to take a drastic step. If I was really going to commit to this idea that I have enough knowledge and ability to play good pool, then I needed to clean things up a bit. So, I took a box, and rounded up all my pool books, magazines & DVD's, and packed them away. While I was at it, I thought, why not just go for a completely new start, so I added all my plaques, trophies (okay, trophy) and patches. Phil Cappelle's Play Your Best 8-Ball tried to hide out under the bed, but I found it and put it in. I know it hardly seems fair when I've barely cracked the spine, but all temptations need to be removed. Later that night as I brushed my teeth, I looked in the mirror and realized that I had been sleeping in a tournament T-Shirt. In the box it went.

After the few remaining stragglers had been rounded up, the various items filled the one box perfectly. I tied it up with string and put it in the back of the closet for safe keeping.

I'll be back for them, but for now I'm enjoying the spaciousness of a clean slate.

Enough is enough....

2008-10-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

If I have a fatal flaw, its probably that I want to know everything. And, I want to know it now. I would happily drown trying to drink too much and too fast from the fire hydrant of all things pool related.

After the end of the league summer session, the coming and going of the Singles Regional, my sideline envy of participants in the US Amateur, I was ready to dive right in with new determination, devour knowledge, practice intensely and kick major butt.

And then something unexpected happened.

Just as I was getting ready to set up a renewed and revived schedule with Coach, he said that he couldn't coach me anymore. :-(

Suddenly, my path to greatness seemed that much harder and much less fun. Left to my own devices, I wander and digress and develop bad habits. And while there are a great many options for help, they are mostly piecemeal and not the same as having a mentor. This was very bad news.

And then I wondered:
They say that when the student is ready the teacher will appear. Does that also mean that when the student is ready the teacher will go away?

As I stopped fighting the reality, I realized that maybe this is a good thing. Coach is by far the best pool teacher I have ever had. But sometimes, I've felt that Coach pushed things a little too fast. He would repeat mercilessly within one session, but the next session he would move onto something else without going back over what I had learned last time. I'm very quick to catch on to a new shot in practice, but over time that momentary mastery seems to fade, and its then added to the list of many things that I know, that I can try, but just can't rely on.

Its like what they say, an amateur will practice a shot until they can make it, a pro will practice until they can't miss it. I'm such an amateur.

So, enough is enough. I know enough to play some very good pool. Better pool than I actually play. So, I'm putting it all away, and starting all over again, from the beginning, and learn how to make the most of what I already have.

Thanks, Coach, for all your help...but I'll be okay on my own...(until you or another teacher show up again).

Life before pool

2008-10-09T20:12:00.001-07:00

Okay, just keeping up to date here.....I'm afraid I can't really report on my "Do nothing" tournament preparation strategy, as I was slapped with a last minute, critical assignment at work. I was pretty furious about it, because the crisis was totally unnecessary, and it meant I wasn't able to make it to the Singles Regional Tournament :-(. I had to forfeit my $100 without getting to play a single match. :-( And we'll never know what might have been.

On the plus side, I saved on gas and hotel and driving for hours....all of which I would of gladly suffered, well, maybe not gladly. Of course, if I didn't have the job, I wouldn't have the $100 in the first place, so I won't throw my computer out the window quite yet. Just sneak out to play pool more often. :-)

Nothing wrong with first place loser, right?

2008-10-09T07:54:00.000-07:00

Grrrr. Not much to say this week except both my teams went down in the finals this week. First night, I played like a hero to make it hill-hill, but our line-up just didn't have enough strength left to close it out against the other team's anchor. The next night, I was the one who let it slip away. First couple of games, I couldn't make a ball, but then I came back shooting strong, got to the hill, and hit my 8-ball too hard and to thin and watched it bank into the wrong pocket. What a way to go.....sorry, guys. A very inconvenient time to learn a valuable lesson.

Winning ugly

2008-10-01T08:14:00.000-07:00

It doesn't have to be pretty, right? I think personally, I feel better when I play well and lose, but when it comes down to bringing it in for the team, yeah I'd rather win. A few months ago Samm Diep had an article where she interviewed some top pros (I'll add the link later), and they all pretty much said the same thing, given the choice, they'll take the win however they can get it. (That's not surprising, considering that's how they make their living and winning really affects their bottom line. ) So, I ain't to proud to take it anyway I can get it.

First round of play offs and I ended up anchoring. That's not what the plan was, but one thing led to another....and it was up to me to bring in the case match. I'd like to think that I can handle the pressure, but I was definitely feeling nerves. My match didn't start until after midnight, and unfortunately, the one thing that really hampers my ability to stay calm, is being tired. I get a little physically clutzy in the early hours of the morning and I guess I'm a little psychologically clutzy too. Nothing seems to work as well.

I was on the hill, I had ball in hand with 2 balls left, and got them in to set up for a pretty easy shot on the 8 in the corner. I was lined up. I could see it. I could feel it. It was going in. And then, I went to shoot it and ... Wah? I barely stroke the ball....and the 8 dribbles into the rail. It was like an opera singer on stage taking in that deep breath and preparing to start a full-throated expressive finale. They open their mouth and "sqqquueeeaaak" nothing comes out. Sometimes, you don't feel right about a shot and then you're not surprised, but this was not the case. Somehow, my mind and stroking arm were completely disconnected. I was so intent on my aiming point and alignment, I guess forgot to breathe and stroke the ball. Damn. Fortunately, it left the 8 as a makable cut, that was prone to overcutting...My opponent followed the script, missed the ball and left the 8 right in front of the pocket.

I have to say that while that was a truly horrible shot, it didn't phase me. "oh, I missed. Let's not do that again." I was on to the next shot. That was probably my best mental moment of the game.

So, next time. Focus on getting my rhythm. Seeing the shot BEFORE I get down on the table, and focusing on my stroke. I might have been trying my damndest to hit my target, but was still using all of the pocket that I could. I know that when I let my stroke lead the way, that even when I miss, I'm getting closer to finding that place mentally where the pockets all look huge and the ball rolls right in the center. Why not just let it be in charge.

A radical concept in tournament preparation: Do nothing

2008-09-26T21:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I realize this notion is false in two ways. First, I'm sure there's nothing radical about not obsessively preparing for this tournament. In fact, I imagine that the vast majority of players of my level are doing just that: nothing. Based on the high number of no-shows, not only are they not preparing, they're actually busy making other plans.

Second, I'm not actually doing nothing. The idea is this: be confident in where my game is now and focus on getting everything else in my life in order, so that when I'm at the tournament, there's nothing free floating around on my to-do list that may cause underlying anxiety. I initially considered taking a complete breather from pool, but decided that I would fit in some short, focused practice sessions to mostly work on smooth straight in follow shots. Who knows, maybe next week I'll feel like something else.

The truth is, I really have everything I need, for now. I just need to be at a place mentally so it comes out. Namaste.

Win some...lose some more....and sitting on the sidelines

2008-09-20T07:22:00.000-07:00

I seem to be alternating between confident peak performances where I let my stroke out and really play, and games where I hold back and play too tightly, afraid to lose. Its funny how sometimes success can raise your expectations and actually undermine you. I think that may be what's going on here. But as long as I remember that the losses hold valuable lessons, and may be just what I need to succeed when it really matters, I'm good.

Outside of league play.....

I've been spending a lot of time as a railbird. Two weekends ago at the World Ten-Ball Qualifier and then this weekend at the US Amateur Qualifier. A couple of friends have given me a hard time that I'm not playing this weekend. Not because I'm really that level of player, but because they know I love playing in tournaments and think the experience would be good for me.

At the time the application was due, I was in the midst of a major losing streak, and the idea of paying 40 bucks to watch 2 matches where my opponent runs racks of 9-ball on me didn't sound like a good deal. I can play in four $10 double elimination tournaments for the same amount, and watch 8 matches where my opponents run racks of 9-ball on me. I decided to wait until next year and play a lot of 9-ball in the meantime.

Of course, I wake up this morning....and I want to play! (There are only 11 players in the women's qualifier, which really makes me sad. But I'm happy that my recruitment efforts added 2 players to the mix).

Alas, I won't be playing today, but its good to be hungry. The APA Regional Singles is in a couple of weeks. I'm starting to get itchy...Its been a whole month since Vegas and I want to go back.

Making Waves

2008-09-06T09:22:00.000-07:00

I was listening to a friend of mine, a BCA instructor, give a lesson about the importance of separating thinking and planning from execution at the table. He described watching Efren Reyes play at a tournament. How, in between his turns, he was slumped in his chair almost half-asleep. When it came time to shoot, he sort of shuffled to the table, scruffy, looking over the layout, chalked his cue, made a decision. The moment Efren got down to shoot, it was like he sucked up all the energy in the room, focusing it intently into the pure and precise execution of his shot. When the shot was over, the energy dissipated and he returned to just the way he was before.

This reminded me of one of the really interesting things I learned from The New Toughness Training for Sports by James Loehr. (Which incidentally really is NOT a new version of Mental Toughness Training for Sports. The original is far superior, but more on that later). The best athletes are the best wave makers. They can bring intense focus and energy during the critical times, and then release it and go into recovery mode. Great tennis players use even 25-seconds in between points to get just a blip of recovery, before gearing up for the next point (that actually kind of blows my mind).

This kind of discipline about intentionally recovering, supposedly, helps with eliminating the lapses in focus at the wrong time. I imagine that 100-ball runners in straight pool are probably great at this, too. Anyway, food for thought....I have to remember this the next time I need to clear more than 3-balls from the table.

Win some - Lose some

2008-09-06T08:49:00.000-07:00

My league matches this week were not especially remarkable. I played okay. I won once and lost once. When I focused I played pretty well, but I had a little trouble sustaining focus. In general, I didn't feel super confident at the table. I don't have much earth shattering to say about the play. So here are some random observations:

Some things I did well (mostly in my second match):

* I did check-in to see how I was feeling and tried to adjust my thinking. I stopped myself from being irritated by how "nice" my opponent was. (Its funny, I wonder if these people realize how much they succeed at sharking their opponent by doing this. Is it really necessary to apologize for leaving your opponent tough, even if you didn't mean to. We are, afterall, competing). I stopped thinking about that and focused on the game.

* My speed control was pretty good, when I thought about it. I didn't always make the shot (which is a problem), but I'm definitely getting more comfortable moving the cue ball two and three rails for position. This is a big step forward. One shot in particular, I messed up the pattern and ended up with a shot in the side on my last ball, and the 8 on the end-rail, the wrong-end rail. I almost pocketed the ball, and the cue ball came three rails, and landed almost perfect on the 8. And luckily it also ended up being a good leave (no apology was issued however).

Some things I'd like to learn from:

* I just got to get over my heavy cue ball issues. Even just warming up, I was getting grumpy. Really grumpy. Someone should organize a mud-ball banger box open championship. Playing well with this thing, is truly a skill I don't even come close to having.

* I'm improving on being more disciplined in my thinking....but that's only part of it. I want to develop my ability to get "that feeling" - focused, relaxed, positive, engaged having fun. Being in the moment. And having fun. Yes, its not Vegas. But nothing wrong with being a bigger fish in my small pond.

* I've been trying to play the table and not the player lately. I've also experimented with really not paying that much attention to the other person when they're shooting. Going back to my seat, chatting with my teammates, socializing. I've had people do it to me, and really there's nothing wrong with it, but on some level, I just think its a little disrespectful. So, I think I only end up feeling guilty about it and sharking myself. I need to focus on the match, but be a little detached while my opponent is shooting. And when I walk up to the table for my turn clear away my thoughts about the other player.

So, that's all for now....

Oh so sad to be single again

2008-08-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

Now that the doubles tournament is over, I have returned to the normal one-on-one league matches. Its kind of interesting to see the contrast.

When my partner and I were playing our best, it really felt like one person playing, not two. I didn't overthink. I didn't play too conservatively. I beared down when I really needed to without fear of selling out. Now, I am back to being truly only one person, and I think I'm a stronger player, but I sometimes feel like I'm two people battling over which shot to take.

Last night, in league I saw the difference. I took the first game easily--I focused, planned my run out and executed. Second game I had a lapse of concentration and a funny layout--that one slipped away. Case game I had a makable out, and a couple of different ways to go. Neither was perfect, so I chose the slightly harder first shot, thinking "Its okay if I miss this, he can't get out." Had I been in the same situation in Vegas, I would have never thought that way.

I think I chose the right pattern, but I had never noticed before how much I let down on my execution when I go for a two-way shot. I can see that I do this a lot. Whether I take the make-it-or-sell-out route or the better-safe-than-sorry pattern, I should be putting my all into getting the f*%k out. I missed twice trying to play two-way shots. I didn't miss by much and I left him tough both times. The last time, as I prepared for my next turn at the table.... he made two banks in a row, and got the f*%k out.

Lesson learned. Thanks. I plan to bring a little more of my Vegas doubles identity to the table with me next time.

Winner buys the nachos

2008-08-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

I think the big take away from the APA Nationals, is just how important endurance is. I guess its one of those lessons that doesn't really hit home until you're successful enough to find yourself still in the later rounds of a tournament.

By the time the time we reached the quarter finals, I was ready to give it all I had. I just had less to give. I wasn't thinking as clearly and my stroke was becoming punchy. The possibility of a nice sit-down dinner instead of grabbing nachos at the Sportsbook and running to the next match, was starting to sound good. I really wasn't prepared to make the most of our unexpected success.

So here is my hindsight-is-20/20 review. (Its my blog, an I'll over-analyze if I want to):

Pacing expectations. In the first part of the tournament we did a good job of setting short-term goals. Our initial tournament goal was to win one match. After that, we just kept trying to go one round more. This was great until we reached the quarters. I was so happy that we had far exceeded our expectations, that one more round wasn't really a huge incentive (especially as we approached the dinner hour).

At the beginning of the tournament, our odds of winning the whole thing, were pretty slim. The small goals were appropriate. But by the time we reached the quarters, no matter whether we were the best team left or not, our chances were actually pretty good. At this point the goal should have been to win the whole damn thing, not just one more round. I think that would have helped tap into those deep, deep resources and compete with the desire to eat, drink and get a foot massage. Like a marathon runner, the first part of the race you have short-term goals, but when you get near the end, you set your sites on the finish line to help push through the pain threshold.

Recognizing the critical shots early. Every time we were in a do or die situation, I was able to play miles over my head. I made shots I had no business trying when it came down to getting it in the hole, or ending our tournament run. We were in that situation too many times (and were very lucky to have those second chances). That probably means I wasn't seeing these key shots earlier in the rack. I need to bring those powers of concentration before it comes down to the end game.

R & R. The New Toughness Training for Sports, talks a lot about recovery. Now I get it. Recovery when preparing for an event, in between matches, and even in between shots is critical. I did do some meditation in between rounds, which helped, but overall, I just need to learn to relax even more during matches and trust that we will perform our best. Que sera sera and all that. This is especially true for the full team events. You can't get too wound up watching your teammates, or you're already fried when its time for you to play.

Let's hope I get more opportunities to test out these ideas.

Also, I'd love to hear any suggestions that people have for grinding it out through the final round.

Yeehaw!

2008-08-17T22:57:00.000-07:00

Wow, so much to tell, but so little time. So here is the brief update because I can't contain myself. I was entered in the 8-ball Scotch Doubles but had expected to go two and out or maybe win one (one and done or two and BBQ, as they say). But we started off with a bye (always lucky), and won, loss, and then won, and won, and won...and kept winning until finally losing a good match in the quarter finals. Luck of the draw was a big factor, but we played to make the most of that luck. Final finish: 5th place. Payout: $1,000.

Drink of celebration: Double scotches, of course.

La-La-La-Laaaa.....

2008-08-13T18:48:00.001-07:00

Las Vegas! I'm on my way to the APA Nationals.
I'm so excited I can barely blog....
(But I'll try to update while I'm on the road)

See you there! (Free drink to anyone who picks me out of the crowd!)

Lies, lies, lies

2008-08-05T19:22:00.000-07:00

Jeannette Lee's Q & A in Billiards Digest was kind of interesting this month. A young player wrote in about his dreams of being a top player but that his parents thought he was crazy. Most of the time, experienced players will say something to the effect of, only the very best can make it, remember there's no money in it, and you're probably not thinking of the sacrifices. The usual cynical mantras.

Jeanette's take was different and kind of refreshing. Basically, she says, dream big...and ignore the facts. "When I first joined the pro-tour......[t]he reality that everyone else saw -- that of a rookie in over her head -- didn't really matter. I had created my own universe, in which I was a pool player, making smart decisions. Before that year was over, there was a new reality in the rankings I was No. 1."

This kind of thinking reminded me of something I heard on WNYC's radiolab (one of my favorite podcasts) about self-deception and how research shows that honesty may not be the best policy....especially when it comes to competitive situations. (Basically, swimmers who rated high on a self-deception test tended to also be the most successful.) The best part is that the initial research survey used was concocted by two drunk scientists writing on a bar napkin. (If I didn't have to keep score on pool nights, think of what I could be accomplishing?)

Anyway, the segment self-deception is in about the last 15 minutes of the show.
http://www.wnyc.org/shows/radiolab/episodes/2008/02/29

Rehab is fab

2008-08-02T11:21:00.000-07:00

A couple months ago, I asked the question, "Is it possible to play your heart out each and every time?" Back then, I think I wanted the answer to be "yes." Now, I've come around to thinking that not only is it not possible, it might not even be a good idea to try. At least for me.

I had a bit of an epiphany recently. I was still in the mode of trying to make sense of how I could be so "hot" and then suddenly so "not." Be it mechanics, burn out - mental, emotional or physical...I was trying to find a way to get back where I was when I was playing my best, when I had focus, drive, and was hitting 'em good.

All of the players on my current team are strong, and I feel bad that over the last few months I haven't been carrying my weight. After another loss, I went home and looked at the stats, thinking how it hasn't been a great season, I had to start playing better...I was struck, that despite my losses this season, we weren't in last place, or hanging in the middle of the pack, we were in first.

I kind of hate what I'm about to say, because I'm independent and proud, and a stubborn perfectionist, but I'm thinking that maybe its okay to let my team carry me for awhile....and that I don't have to worry so much about putting pressure on myself to win right now, or make progress or whatever. My team has plenty of faith in my abilities, and I'm wondering if all the advice I was getting was more a response to my reactions to losing than to the actual losing itself.

I have come to terms with where I am with pool right now, and decided that I'm in a "recovery stage." But I'm not taking a break from pool, just a new approach. I've turned off the evaluator. Looking for positive things, or for nothing at all, and just focusing on being where I'm at, instead of trying to get somewhere.

I've discovered that recovery is all about trust. Trusting that you can let go of the reins of control for awhile and it will all return: the drive, the joy, the stroke, the eye. Its easy to be confident when you're winning. The results do all the work for you. But without trust, you're vulnerable the minute things start going wrong. In retrospect, during my winning streak I was confident, but I don't think I had trust. And the more I won, the more I was driven to practice harder and harder....a perfectionist's need to protect herself from failure. Interesting.

Anyway, letting go is a great feeling. Rehab IS Fab!

Turn the River

2008-07-26T09:41:00.000-07:00

When I opened my Netflix delivery this week I was happy to see that Turn the River was finally out. I had seen the previews and was excited to see what appeared to be an intelligent film featuring a fair amount of pool, even if its not a "pool movie."

I enjoyed the film, although probably more for the decent character development and good acting by Famke Janssen and the actor playing her son. Major props for featuring one-pocket, although eventually the film ends with a 9-ball match, the change is introduced by the main character saying that 9-ball "seems like a chumpy game for us."

First let me say, I think it takes some courage to even attempt to put any kind of pool narrative in a film, especially on a low budget. The editor must have gone nuts trying to piece together legitimate sequences or even montages.

But any pool player is going to go into a movie like this trying to see who can really play and who is just an actor (actually recognizing Tony Robles doesn't count)...and the couple of editing mistakes can't help but jump out at you (like during the 9-ball sequence, it looks like she shoots straight in at the four and the cue ball cozies up to the 2.)

Famke Janssen did all of her own shots in the movie. Apparently, she is a good shot, but I never bought her as a real player. Her stroke was unconvincing and she never seemed confident at the table. Even considering she is down on her luck and living out of a truck she won at poker, she struck me as the kind of woman who could have a good night holding the table at a local bar, but not the kind of player who should be playing races to 5 for $10,000.

And then there was this exchange with her mentor after upping the bet to $10,000:
Mentor (Rip Torn): "You know he's going to try and f*ck with you?"
Famke: "F*ck with me? How?"

Are you serious? This woman is supposed to be a pool hustler and she's never been sharked before? Or, gosh any reasonable non-pool playing human being might be unsurprised by the suggestion that someone placing 10K on a pool match might try to play some mind games. Maybe she should play more league pool.

I could go on, but it would be unfair, because the director has stated that he didn't want the movie to be about the pool, and that he made a conscious decision to have as little pool as possible. He just wanted the audience to know who was winning and who was losing.

Which is too bad. I think letting the pool games carry a little more of the narrative weight would have added some needed tension and texture missing during the match sequences. (Is it too much to ask for a few full table shots during the one-pocket to give people a better feeling of the game? Maybe on a low-budget it is too much...)

Perhaps this could have avoided the need for the bizarre, oddly comic, thriller ending. Although, I guess the story needed some kind of conclusion...

Anyway, out of the hour and a half, I'd really only like the last 10 minutes of my life back. That's pretty good. Good acting & and dissing 9-ball. I'm glad I saw it.

Its not all in my head!

2008-07-19T21:46:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been to the doctor for some random ache or pain that just doesn't seem to go away? On the one hand, you're hoping they don't find anything, because its better to be healthy. On the other hand, if they don't find anything, you may be healthy, but you don't know what to do about your problem. You're stuck just waiting or dealing with a "psychosomatic" something or other....Its kind of good news, bad news either way.

This is how I felt after my latest practice session with Coach. I had come to the conclusion that my slump was mostly due to mental fatigue from overplaying. I thought it was all in my head and I just needed to get my confidence back. But who knows how long that will take? Unfortunately...or fortunately, a test of my fundamentals came back with some very bad results: Whacking, not stroking the ball, jacking up, poor alignment, jumbled inconsistent eye pattern and pre-shot routine. Ugh.

Good news: I'm not just a "loser" cuz I think like one.
Bad news: I actually suck and have a lot of work to do to regain the ground I've lost.
Good news: At least now I know.
Prescription: Lots of straight in stop shots. Lots.

I'd like to say this happened over the course of only a month, but I've gradually noticed some changes:
*My stop shots have beeen less precise.

*I've started to bring my head lower over my cue to see shots better, but as a result my stroke has angled down a bit.

*I've been trying to bring more power to my stroke, but sometimes I think I've forced it instead of building it gradually. Maybe this contributed whack/punch non-stroke thing I've been doing?

Anyway, however I got here, this is where I am....good thing I like doing straight in stop shots :-)

And the secret password is.....

2008-07-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

"I love competing more than winning."

That's my new mantra....

I finally finished reading The New Toughness Training for Sports by James Loehr. I've had it for over a year, and read bits and pieces after Liz Ford and a couple of people on AZBilliards recommended it. There was lots of good information in the book, but that's the one little line that is making me really happy I read it.

I guess I'm just pleased to have something that expresses where my head's at when I'm in my happiest pool state. I've gone back and forth over the whole "wanting to win" thing. Once upon a time it was suggested that in order to win, I needed to let go of winning. That didn't quite work for me. When I tried to let go of winning, sometimes I just cared less when I lost. Then I thought maybe it wasn't wanting to win that was the problem, but the fear of losing. This was helpful, but "I'm not afraid to lose" may not be the best visualization to have in the middle of a game. I've tried "just wanting to play my best", but knew in my heart that was a lie. Let's face it...I want to win.

But "loving competing more than winning", doesn't pretend that winning isn't important, it just puts it under the love of competition and the game itself. And when I look back at some of my best wins, that's how I was feeling...I wanted to win, but I was loving every shot it took to get there...win or lose.

Okay, its not going to end up on a T-Shirt or anything, but I will be happy thinking about it while I'm wearing my "Bitch, I will cut you" shirt.

And I think it will help me get back into a good mental space at the table.

(Note: The book that was actually recommended was Loehr's first book "Mental Toughness Training for Sports" but it wasn't available at the time, so a friend got me the newest book. Judging from some of the reviews on amazon, some people think the first one was superior.)

Back in the saddle

2008-07-10T07:59:00.000-07:00

I'm pleased to say that my return to the table resulted in a win. Even though I have been committed to being positive about the L-word and not buying into the "losing streak" concept, it was a relief.

Its was an easy match, one that I was supposed to win, but that comes with its own pressure. If I lost this one, then I would have to go into therapy. Fortunately, while I wasn't playing my best, I was pocketing balls well enough to stay ahead, playing safe when I should and didn't make too many mistakes. My opponent made it easy on me by giving me ball in hand twice when I was either on my last ball or on the 8.

When I was on the hill, I missed the 8 a couple of times. I had ball in hand with one ball left and drew the cue back a little far for the eight, so I had kind of a tricky cut, which I almost made. When I went back to my seat I was thinking "Damn, I wish that had gone in. Then it would be over." Not, as in over as in won, but over as in, I didn't want to have to keep playing this match. My opponent missed and left me a pretty easy cut in the side. As I lined up I wasn't thinking, something to the effect of "This is an easy shot, don't miss it, don't miss it." And of course, I did.

Even if I had lost that game, I still had two more chances, so there wasn't any pressure except what I was putting on myself, because I was so darn scared of losing. What the hell? This ain't the Olympics, its league pool....

The next and final shot was a gift from the heavens, as incredibly, my opponent missed his ball entirely and I got ball in hand. It was a relief to sink that last ball and sit down...and then I had a great time drinking and chatting with my teammates until the wee hours of the morning.

I think my ego was a little bruised when people suggested I needed to get some easy wins to get my confidence back. But, I have to say, I think they were right. Sometimes it helps to lower the pressure a little and remember what it feels like to sink an 8-ball (even if its an easy one). It ain't pretty, but I guess this is just a first step to getting back into the groove.

Somewhere I read that in river rafting one of the keys to successfully navigating the rapids is to focus on where you want to go rather than trying to avoid the rocks. Right now all I see are rocks....and I don't get it. Why can't they just get out of the way?

Keeping it together just long enough

2008-06-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, even I know, its time to put the cue down for awhile and walk away from the table. And I'm going to take a break, I promise.

I've been saying that for a couple of weeks. So when I was invited to play in just one more end-of-season tournament, I told the tournament director I couldn't do it. I was just too burnt out. There would be no point in playing. I would not play well, not enjoy myself, and just reinforce all kinds of bad stuff. Which was too bad, because I've done well in this tournament before and normally would really be looking forward to it. But my mind was made up.

Then I thought about my June burn out problem. Of course, in a perfect world, you pace yourself so you peak for the most important competitions, but life doesn't always make that easy. So, if you're mentally tough, shouldn't you be able to push through the burn out just long enough to compete, and then take a break?

So, that became my quest. I spent the night before coming to terms with the whole situation. Accepting that I didn't want to play. Accepting that the tournament was coming at a bad time and there was nothing I could do about it. And then accepting that I was choosing to play anyway. I then spent some time getting in touch with my desire to win and visualizing myself playing with complete focus on the game and on every shot.

By morning, I was no longer feeling burnt out. I was ready to play.

It would be a great finish to this post to be able to say, "And I won the tournament" or "Made it to the finals." Nah. I was out in the first round. But I had a great match, and if it hadn't been for an unforeseen scratch on the 8 in the first game, I would have won in straight games. It was a victory for me, because I felt driven and focused in a way I haven't in weeks. Its a good feeling to know, that with a little mental preparation, I can push through the burn out.

But I recognize that I was tapping into the reserves to do it....so now its vacation time.

The greek chorus chimes in while Skinner feeds his pigeons

2008-06-25T13:58:00.000-07:00

The thing I hate the most about losing is the sympathy you must endure from the well-intentioned. It is the punishment for finishing second in a two-person contest.

The thing I hate most about losing streaks, is the recurring and escalating sympathy, followed by psycho-analysis by committee that you must endure from the well-intentioned trying to fix your perceived problem. It is the punishment for being cursed by the "L" word too many times in a row.

"You just aren't very confident right now."
"You were a little overconfident there."
"You need a break."
"You need to not take it so seriously."
"You need to just make balls. Forget shape."
"You're making too many balls. You need to be more strategic."
"You need to let go of winning."
"You need to focus on winning."
"You need to drink more."
"You need to drink less."
and so it goes....

It reminds me of the superstitious pigeon in the classic Skinner experiment. (I tried to find a video, but couldn't). Skinner's pigeons were conditioned to expect a reward for performing certain behaviors--peck the shiny silver button, and get some bird seed. When Skinner randomized the reward, completely unlinking it from a specific action, the birds started repeating strange behaviors. Turning to the right. Flapping a left wing. Pecking at its toe. Pecking at another pigeon's toe Trying to figure out, what was the thing, that magical thing that it was doing, that caused the birdseed to drop from the sky. Hmmmm. Maybe I should wear my lucky shirt. I was drinking Maker's the last time I won....maybe I'll have a makers tonight. Or not eat dinner. Or just make balls. Or play more safeties. Or use a house cue, or, or.....There are so many potential fixes....and none of them may make a hoot of difference, cuz sometimes the wins are just birdseed being dropped by some sadistic college student trying to get an A. Cruel, cruel world.

No one, including myself sometimes, remembers that within this monolithic string of losses were some well-played, tough matches, that I just came up short on: a bad roll, an outstanding opponent, or an honest mistake that's appropriate for my learning curve. These are the matches to remember and build on.

There is no "fix", maybe because there is no real "problem." But there is a lesson: While I can listen to what others say, ultimately its my own voice I need to listen to and not let the well-intentioned coddling undermine my confidence.

I have my own thoughts about what, if anything is going on with some of my matches, but more on that later.....because I've got to get back to flapping my left wing....just in case.

The Year in Review

2008-06-13T20:22:00.000-07:00

Just like the school year, my pool year ends in June. Of course, I would much rather be posting about one of my team's imminent trip to Vegas and extend the year through August. But, there are limits to my creative blogging.

Jim McKay died the day of our LTC.....and the agony of defeat was present. Sometimes, the luck of the draw matters more than anything. All of my teams were saddled with the toughest draws, last minute handicap bumps, and unfortunate rolls. But we had a good time, and all went out swinging.

A few thoughts about this year.....

1) Too many swirls. I couldn't help but think of a friend's tattoo, as I headed off to pool in the evenings. Its a very nice, but incomplete tattoo....a tulip design surrounded by swirls. She had impulsively selected a particularly painful place for the tattoo and only made it through the basic flower part of the design, and a few of the swirls, before the pain became so unbearable, she could hardly speak. As she looked down at the many curls stenciled out on her skin, and knew there was no way she could finish it out...... she managed to blurt out through her tears"....too.......many.........swirlllls...."and then passed out. While not quite that painful, I have say that three teams is too.....many.....teeeaaammms. Definitely, too much of a good thing. I'm glad I followed through on my commitments, but I am overjoyed to be free to cut back. Woohoo! Clean apartment and laundry here I come.

2) Gotta check those biorhythms and tide charts. In the past two years I peaked around December - February. I'm not sure I understand why, but I know that the past two years I've felt kind of burnt out by the time June came around. I know that serious athletes are careful to train in a way that allows the to peak or be near peaking around their key events. Part of the challenge for me is that I work in a seasonal business that is particularly stressful from April-June. (This was compounded this year by too many swirls at the same time). I guess I have to find a way to accept that I may be able to play less during this time, but do the things that make the most difference in my game.

3)More colors in the crayon box. I like salad bars and an insanely extensive spice rack. My refrigerator is two-thirds full of condiments (a friend of mine refers to this as condimentia). As much as I need a certain amount of routine, I also need lots of variety. Now that I have freed up some of my league time, I am going to diversify. More match ups with friends and some cheap tournaments. More 9-ball and maybe even try some 3-cushion. If I do join another team, it will either be 9-ball or a non-handicapped league.

4) Balance, dammit, balance! There is more to life than pool. And when the rest of my life feeds my happiness and confidence, I believe that it shows up in how I play. Not that on a given day I can't rise above whatever else is going on, but over the long haul, taking care of one's self pays dividends on the pool table as well.

5) Wax on. Wax off. A couple months ago, I ran into a fellow league member....Actually, a more accurate description would be, a fellow league member interrupted me while I was practicing. I was shooting a drill. He spent about 20 minutes explaining to me why drills were a waste of time (I suppose that talking to him while paying for a table was a good use of my time), and I should only spend time trying to run out a rack. His justification for this was that I would never run into the same pattern in a game and therefore the drill was completely useless. Jesus, I thought everybody has seen the Karate Kid, but just in case you missed it, too:

So, thanks very much for the advice and for interrupting my practice session. While you may not be impressed, I'm happy with my progress looking back over the year and I know that the drills build confidence, allow me to gauge progress, and basically work.....I will continue to wax on, wax off through year 3.

Its gonna be fun.

Is it possible to play your heart out each and every time?

2008-05-30T00:24:00.000-07:00

I just have to make a quick post before I try and get some sleep--a rhetorical question to put out there into the blogosphere. I played pretty well tonight, but still lost, as did my team. It was the finals, but my team is already qualified for the local team championships, so there wasn't that much at stake for us. I could tell even during practice, the other team wanted it more and was willing to play their hearts out for it.

Not that I didn't try.

But last week, although the stakes were the same (with the added incentive that winning meant we got to play another week, and a personal quest to finally win on that god-forsaken, red-felted bar table), and yet I was able to dial in and do what it took to win. I played my heart out, and even if it had gone the other way, I think I would have felt great. This week, I shot quite well. I even had my first break and run. But I rushed some key chances early on, and then took a few too many risks later. And even if things gone the other way, I'd feel better, but not great. Because I didn't play my heart out.

There's just something about giving it your all.

I sometimes wonder why I play pool. Yeah, I like the social aspect. I like the intellectual/strategic side. I like learning. I just like watching colored spheres collide on felt (blue or green, thank you). But at the end of the day, its the chance to play my heart out and for just a little while, give my all towards one, maybe silly and ultimately meaningless goal. There's nothing quite like it. And when you don't do it, you know.

So maybe its not possible to play your heart out every time. But I got a lot of pool coming up over the next two weeks, and I'm going to try.

So many teams, so little time

2008-05-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

Wow, it gets crazy at the end of the season if all your teams have been playing well. My little juggling game of never having two nights in a row just doesn't work come playoff time....which leaves very little time to write about it. And as much as I wish that ALL my team won last week, I'm not crying too much that only one emerged to the finals. Another week like this, and I would be completely burnt out by the time the local team championships roll around.

I played fine this week, but especially proud that I was able to anchor the winning night. I made some mistakes early on and let the other guy get on the hill--and then I really beared down and forced a safety battle where I knew I'd have the advantage. After that, I seemed to find my stroke. I just played smart, waited for my shots, and won.

Its funny, if I start out strong, I sometimes start to get nervous once I get on the hill. I can still focus, but it takes some work. This time, once I could see the finish line, even though it was hill-hill, I was completely focused and completely relaxed. When I started that last game, I felt like I was the winner already.

Kudos to OMGWTF

2008-05-18T19:10:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say I was happy to come home last night to discover that OMGWTF walked away with $3000 from her challenge match with cubc, that was webcast through The Action Report yesterday. Unfortunately, I was too busy losing at a tournament to be able to tune into the action.

Of course I am a fan of OMGWTF's blog, so my happiness is no surprise. I do respect that cubc followed through on his challenges, unlike the infamous hedgehog, who said he'd give her the six, and then found every excuse to duck an opportunity to do so.

Cubc said OMGWTF had the seven por vida. She took that seven all the way to the bank. If only more people had to put their money where their mouth was....they'd probably be a little more careful where they put their mouth in the first place...por vida.

Power breaking continued....

2008-05-18T18:59:00.000-07:00

Every now and then, you're lucky enough to come across some information that makes a big difference. Most of the time in pool, I find that new knowledge takes time to find its way to being appropriately executed and incorporated into your game.

In the breaking video I posted last week, Colin Collenso recommends gripping the cue forward for more power when breaking. I'm not sure when, but at some point I know that someone recommended to me for breaking and power stroking to grip further back in order to extend your backswing and build momentum.

Today, I started following Colin's advice... and wow. One simple change. A world of improvement. Not only was I able to get a lot of power without a lot of muscle, but I was getting much, MUCH less spin on the cue ball. A good, solid, full break. Good spread. Cue ball planted dead center of the table. Wow. That was just too easy. Thanks, Colin.

So distracting....but so much fun

2008-05-14T14:38:00.000-07:00

Its a good thing I've been working my butt off lately, because I am getting almost nothing done at the office thanks to the live streaming of the Predator 10-ball Championship. I was just curious to check out the interface, honest. What started off as a quick coffee break, has turned into an surreptitious open tab on my browser that I obsessive watch every chance I get. I should just close that tab. But I cannot close that tab. RIP productivity. Viva la web 2.0 and 10-ball.

Straight from Shanghai - The Power Break

2008-05-10T19:41:00.000-07:00

You got to admire a guy who records pool instructional videos on his cell phone from his home in Shanghai. Especially, when they're actually pretty good. I figure anyone who has coached shotput knows something about the powerful propulsion of spheres and is well qualified to say a thing or two about the power break.

I've had a lot of fun incorporating these tips into a new break. Of course, control is important, but I think its good to push the envelope on power and speed, too. I can always dial it down after getting a feel for the basic technique.

Please stand by

2008-05-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

I have about two half-finished posts saved in drafts, but I can't seem to find time to finish and post them. Work has been very busy. I can't remember the last time I had a weekend off. And on top of that, I haven't had a good internet connection at home, so I've been resorting to grabbing some bandwidth along with a latte, when I have time. And when I have time, I feel less like writing and more like downloading music and TV shows and in general vegging out my overused brain.

If I post this, of course, it means, I'll probably have three real posts up by tomorrow morning. But until then....please stand by, synaptic resources are recharging.

Proof of Life

2008-04-25T23:21:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes, you kick ass. Sometimes, the ass kicks you." - First read on OMGWTF massiveunderstatement.blogspot.com

Lets just say, that if I'm starting my blog entry with the above quotation, that I don't have much nice to say about league this week. So, I'm not going to say much and will turn to more pleasant matters. My fragile feminine ego burns with indignation and a desire to kick ass, a certain ass. Perhaps, someday I'll tell the story when it can be told as a tale of righteous vindication. Until then, just know, this week I sucked at league pool, and it wasn't fun.

But, while league has yet to catch fire again, I returned to the practice table and really enjoyed myself. I had my first coaching session in ages, and remembered how much fun I have when I feel like I'm learning.

Also, I revisited a frozen rail shot drill that I abandoned a while ago. (6 Balls on the rail, any order - no bumping object balls, no combos and no banks, kicks are okay). Before this week, I had successfully run all six balls only once--and that felt like luck. As I tried it again, I realized I had no idea how I had actually managed it. After many attempts, it just didn't seem like I was progressing, so I moved on.

(A Cuetable diagram is supposed to go here, but as I have quite figured it out yet, and its really just kind of an extraneous graphic element (its not exactly a complicated layout), you'll just have to use your immagination)

This week, in my first attempt, I ran all six. Out of the next ten attempts, I ran at least 5 balls each time, and successfully did all 6 two additional times. In one of my perfect innings I had to shoot my last ball up the long rail, which is kind of a failure in a position drill, but still, I finished. I even tried some different patterns and had a sense of what to expect the cue ball to do. So, something good is going on, even if it isn't showing up on game night.

Minnow drowns in pool.

2008-04-20T08:43:00.000-07:00

Oxygen, please.

My short break was apparently not sufficient, as I'm finding myself not wanting to go to league or to practice. Normally, even when I decide I should take a break, its work to stay away from a pool table. And now its the opposite. After all, spring is here, the sun is out, there are other things in life (gasp, its true!)

So, I'm taking a little time to take stock and set out some new goals. Back in October, when I qualified for the Singles Regionals, I decided that I wanted to work towards that as a way to raise the level of my game. And I think I've done that. I've won my first tournament. Found a good coach. Even went up a skill level. And now its time to rest on my laurels, and think about what's next. (I'm not sure how comfy laurels are, but so the expression goes).

Reading back over the last few posts, its so obvious to me that something was missing, and I was trying my darndest to get it back. I've been playing some, and even had a couple of good matches, but my hearts just not in it. Hot streaks have to end eventually, but its hard to let them go. Alas, burn out is the inevitable consequence of being on fire, if you don't take a breather every now and then.

Early to bed.....

2008-04-09T19:57:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm back after recovering from a serious bout of pool overdose, followed by a compensatory bout of unnecessary cosmetics shopping, followed by a mild bout of food poisoning. Hopefully, I am on the mends from all.

I got stuck playing 3 nights in a row, even though I have agreements from all my captains that they would allow me to juggle things so that wouldn't happen. Of course, being aware of the cluster f*ck phenomenon that is league life, I was sure it would happen at least once. And it did. Last matches all three nights. By the third night, I was a bit numb....I thought I had ball in hand, and picked up the cue ball after a good hit. My opponent was on the 8. It was case game. There was an outpouring of insistent sympathy in anticipation of my feeling horrible. And I was thinking "Well, that kinda sucks, but on the bright side, we can all go home." After all the pool I had played that week, I really wasn't going to sweat it.

The next week I wiped my playing schedule clean for a week and went on a binge of girliness, grooming and pampering that was such the antithesis of drinking scotch in smokey bars and playing pool until 1am. I was very, very happy. I even went to bed early....and sober. I dreamed of pool, of course.....

Rewriting my list....

2008-03-30T10:00:00.001-07:00

Last week, my team was playing our rival in the division. We usually duke it out for 1st & 2nd. I like playing this team, although I'm pretty much guaranteed to play one of two people, and I'd really prefer to mix it up a bit. But so it goes back in the small pond of a tiny league....

Anyway, one of my usual opponents shows up and says "Hi, Pool Minnow....So how's your game?" "Uh, okay, I guess." "Well, I'm glad to see you here cuz I was hoping for a rematch."

Hmmm....I already knew this, but apparently, I'm on his "list." In the end, I did end up playing him, although mostly to accommodate the schedules of our other players. After the match, he said, "I think we've got a nice little rivalry going here." I just smiled and nodded, because I didn't have the heart to tell him that he wasn't on my list.

I mean no disrespect to him. He's a nice person and an excellent shooter, and from time to time can pull out a spectacular cut shot worthy of applause. But he's also one of those players, that as long as he doesn't get too far ahead, you just wait for him to do something like shoot down to his last ball and then predictably sink it in a way that would guarantee absolutely no shot on the 8. You get ball in hand, and control the table until you win. And although, he can get the best of me from time to time, I feel that in a few months, if I continue to improve at the same rate (knock wood), I think I'll have an advantage. While I'd rather win, losing will not carry the sting of a lost opportunity and I won't wait for my next chance to regain my honor. Nope. Not on the list.

I guess its time to rewrite the list. I need to find those other 4s that I can go head to head with and start gaining some credibility at my new level. My list usually consists of those players at my speed or the one's at the top of the food chain (and those who act like idiots and deserve to get their asses kicked), but my speed has changed, so I need to upgrade who I consider my peers to be. (Most of the idiots will remain on the list, although not as peers I hope.)

I also realized that I have another list. A list that keeps track of each and every loss I experience in league. Not a list of opponents, but a list of self-butt-kicking shots that I miss. My game losers. The dawgs. I need to own these dawgs. And once they go on the list, I commit to never, ever let them get the better of me again. Once on the list, I practice them until I know, that when they come up in a game, I am not facing a shot that once kicked my ass, but one of MY shots. One of my winning shots. A shot I can count on. So, on the days when none of my matches are with people on the first list, maybe I can find a little excitement about being watchful for shots on my second list.

Anyway, stay tuned, I'm going to see if I can figure out how to use Cue Table so I can start posting my shots from the List.

Flipping the switch

2008-03-19T07:41:00.000-07:00

Exhaustion. Bad equipment. Lower level player. Last match of the night. This is a dangerous combination that leads to uninspired pool.

How is it that last week, I played a six, and I played like a monster (well,for me anyway). The next night, my play was a little less monstrous, but when I wasn't quite as in stroke I started playing smart and had a strong win.

Last night, I must have been brain dead. A year ago I probably would have been really happy with the way I shot, but now it was not up to par. Its great to play under ideal conditions: good equipment, an opponent that inspires me, fresh, relaxed and having fun. Unfortunately, sometimes I need to play a late night or an opponent that may not bring out the best of my game. None of that is an excuse for not focusing.

So here's what I see when I think about last night:

* Tiredness really affects my approach to the ball and my eye pattern. I wasn't focusing in on the object ball when stepping into the shot or before shooting. My whole rhythm was off.

* I should have gone for ball in hand when I had the chance, even if I had open shots and a possible out.

* When I play on slow cloth & with a heavy cue ball, I have trouble getting the feel of the table and it throws off my stroke somehow. Last night, I was playing really tentatively, when under those conditions I probably should be hitting my balls with some confidence.

*I don't really like how my cue plays with a heavy cue ball--there's a little too much vibration. If the house cues are any good (which last night they weren't), I sometimes switch because it just feels like a more solid hit. (But maybe I'm just making excuses there. I've never heard of anyone switching cues because of the cue ball).

*Chewing gum helps.

But all that aside, none of those things really matter if I'm "on." And by that I don't mean "in the zone" or "in stroke." If I'm on, I'm hungry for the win. I can adjust to my weaknesses and conditions. I can find a way to win, even if I'm not shooting up to par. I can be sleep-deprived, on anti-histamines after having just lost my wallet and my boyfriend has shown up right before I start playing so he can break up with me and then sits down at the bar and makes out with his new girlfriend.

Yep, if I'm "on", who cares about the cue ball, the time, the ex-boyfriend....I'll find a way to dig deep and find something extra to hang tough until I put the money ball away....I just need to find a way to flip the switch, even in those moments when I'd rather be in bed.

Three, Four, whatever.....

2008-03-17T21:52:00.000-07:00

I know that I've written in the past how I try not to put a lot of stock in my APA handicap, but still, just thought I should mention that I went up to a 4 this week.

I try to win every game, no matter what the race is, or who I'm playing, so it shouldn't matter whether I'm a 3 or 4. (Although I'm sure my captains feel differently). I'm looking forward to the challenge and hope that I can maintain the rating. I will now have to win a minimum of three games, so I should, in theory, get to play more pool--and that's a good thing. (Unless I'm playing one of those sandbagging 2's or 3's,the lowly bastards,or my captains decide that a newbie 4 is less desirable to play than a strong 3).

Anyway, it is kind of nice to see a new number next to my name on the roster.

The shooter always knows best, afterall they're the one with the gun....

2008-03-15T22:06:00.000-07:00

My opponent was on the 8. The cue was almost dead straight with my last ball facing the side rail. A bank was possible but not easy. Scratching was a possibility on the cut & missing/making the bank would most likely leave a decent shot on the 8.

A teammate called a time out and coached me to play a safety by hitting straight into my ball, and follow the cue ball to the side rail. That would have left a long, but makable cut on the eight. If I was lucky the object ball would get in the way. I didn't like this shot. To get a good safety, I would have to control both the object ball and the cue ball. If I couldn't get the snooker, the advantaged gained, seemed pretty minimal. The shot on the 8 is the kind of shot that I've seen my opponent make under pressure many times. In fact, the difficulty seems to focus him. Basically, my gut said, he's making the shot.

I tried my best, but wasn't able to follow the cue to rail and did not get the snooker. I didn't leave an easy shot for my opponent, but he nailed it, just like I predicted.

In retrospect, I should have done a stop shot to try to leave the cue on same line as the eight. I think it would have left a harder shot and I would have only been trying to control the cue ball. The real key though is what I was most comfortable with, which is something that my coach wouldn't necessarily know. Most people are more comfortable with follow and feel its more reliable. For some reason, I have trouble putting a lot of top spin on the ball (I must be angling down on my shot or not following through). I'm much more comfortable with stop and draw.

Coaching is a give and take process. Over time, ideally, teammates who coach will learn a player's strengths and weaknesses. But it works the other way, too. As the shooter, you need to learn a coaches weaknesses, too. Some teammates will always coach from their own play book. Give you shots that are too complicated. Fail to give you critical elements of the shot (more often than not, speed). With coaches I know, I'm comfortable challenging their assumptions ("So, if I take that shot, you're assuming that I'm going to be able to run the next 4? I appreciate the confidence, but the way I'm shooting tonight, that's not going to happen.") Its the players job to let the coach know what feels right and to make the final decision of what to do.

But I also wonder, if I shouldn't have just gone for the bank. Unless my option is a really good safety, isn't it better to just go for the win?
--------------------------------------------------
Above is a draft post that never quite made it to prime time last year. I came back to it after a conversation this week with a teammate, who was unhappy with the coaching she received to play safe instead of going for a bank. I was familiar with her frustration, but what struck me is how much happier and confident I am since I decided to shoot the shot and not the coach. At some point I stopped blaming my coaches when their advice didn't work and decided to own my shot, and my decision to take or not take the coaching. Writing this post was a bit of a turning point in that direction.

Reading it now I can see how far I've come in my shooting, too. Now, I think I could probably leave the cue on the rail, and even try to get the speed right to get the snooker, instead of just hitting it and hoping to get a good roll. But even better, now, I would know to hit the ball with spin to leave the cue on the center of the end rail...a much better safety. More evidence of sucking less at pool (aka progress).

Let the games begin

2008-03-06T07:45:00.000-08:00

I'm having a great time playing on my new Wednesday team. The division is much more competitive and its fulfilling my need for some more hard core pool that I whined about in my blog last fall. And, it has offered the opportunity for a rematch from my David & Goliath win in the Top Shooter Tournament (See Karma is a Bitch and Saturday she was my patron saint). Good times!

The match yesterday confirmed the need for a new word to be added to the English language: lagorrhea. From the greek-rooted word LOGOrrhea, which means an excessive flow of words. LAGorrhea means an excessive flow of words while lagging. Had this been and isolated incident at the tournament last month, a new word would be indulgent and uncalled for. Fortunately, this behavior repeated itself, and hence I feel the justification of an entirely new word. You may recall that last time, just as we were lagging, my opponent decided to ask me if I was feeling tired. Yesterday, as we were lagging, he was really rambling on, and then just as I was taking my warm up strokes asked me if I had been nervous at the Top Shooter tournament. To which I replied "Nah, I was just having fun." So, either he is reading this blog, and is just taking the piss (which I would actually admire) or this is some standard strategy he uses.

I lost the lag, but not by much. I proceeded to chase him on every game shooting on the 8 or close each time. Played some good safes and generally was shooting well-enough to make him sweat. I slopped the 8 in once to get on the hill. In the case game, he dogs his next to last shot, and leaves me an easy 8, which I then dog! Ha! I lost in the end, but it was a fun match. He knows that my beating him in the tournament wasn't entirely an accident.

There were more shenanigans in addition to the lagorrhea that I won't go into, but they are so absurd, I just think they're funny. I believe they are attempts at sharking, but they're really more like....clowning. Clowning (n): a feeble, laughable attempt at sharking that some may find irritating, but in general will provide entertainment for opponents and spectators. Keep it up big boy, you're very good at what you do.

----------------------
All snarkiness aside:
There was one more incident of note last night. I was shooting at one of my balls that was frozen to the eight. I was trying to shoot straight into my ball with extreme right to throw the ball and get a good hit. I miscued badly and my cue deflected quite a bit to the side. Someone from the other team who was apparently asked to watch the hit, called a foul, saying I had hit a stripe first--which was completely bizarre, because there wasn't a stripe even near the the balls I was aiming at. At first I couldn't even make a case for not hitting a stripe, because the stripe had moved, but I couldn't imagine a scenario for where I could have even hit the ball. The cue ball would have had to masse backwards and then caromed off several balls and a cushion to end up in its final position. (Maybe he had been watching this guy.)

I finally realized I must have knocked it with my stick. Then he asked, "Well, did your ball hit a rail" which I believe it did. As the shot watcher, he must have been so concerned with the stripe he hadn't followed my ball. Anyway, to my opponent's credit, he deferred to the shooter (me), as I had done in the tournament, thus ending the twilight zone moment. His sportsmanship in this matter was appreciated.

The Sound of Second Loss Slapping

2008-03-02T21:42:00.000-08:00

My first, and only match on the one loss side. The case game started off with me breaking and coming heartbreakingly close to an 8 on the break and finishing with me playing safe with both of us with two balls left. My opponent didn't have a makable shot, so she just whacked at it....and slopped something in and ran out. Ugh.

This was especially painful because I should have won the first game as well, but scratched on the 8. I knew that the cue ball was headed to the side pocket, but didn't hit it hard enough to actually get there. All the spectators were kind of amazed that the cue ball just kept rolling. But I should have known better because, that had been happening the whole game. Yesterday's table was like shooting on astroturf and today's was like an ice rink. I should have made more adjustments to my game, start hitting a little below center.

I was nervous, but my stroke was pretty smooth and consistent. My only aargh! moments were when the cue ball didn't stop when it should have. So, I feel okay about today.

Its a little maddening to watch the final round of a tournament and think, a ball here a ball there, a little less follow, a little more speed and I could have won this thing. I should have won this thing. My opponent from the first day went all the way, and I so had her, but I dawged it. Twice. She managed to have the luck and the cool to win under pressure. This weekend, I didn't. But with my first "big" tournament under my belt, I still believe that I suck a little less at pool each and every day.

The Sound of One Loss Clapping

2008-03-01T19:09:00.000-08:00

I'm at the APA Singles Regionals right now. After a 4 plus hour drive and a BIG hassle with our hotel rooms (our hotel was overbooked, and our prepaid, confirmed reservations turned out to be worthless, so the morning of our departure we made desperate calls to find the last rooms at various hotels competing with regional soccer, wrestling, and paintball tournaments), we arrived at our lovely Regionals Venue, centrally located about 20 miles south of the middle of nowhere.

With an 8:00 am start, I warmed up well, and then proceeded to wait until about 12:00. My first two matches were no shows, and so I didn't play until about mid-day. I was really nervous, but shot fairly well, winning my first game, and had more chances than I care to admit to win both the next two games, but it was not meant to be. Fortunately, its modified single elimination, so I can work my way through the one-loss side. Despite my loss, I am shooting well, and having a great time, so I can't complain.

Some brief lessons from today:
1) Breathe
2) Ask one of my friends to sit in my corner. I wasn't sure if it would make me self-conscious, but I think its reassuring.
3) Remember that the cue ball is going to travel on thin cuts.
4) Don't pull my stroke.
5) Don't be to clever with my safeties. That is, always consider leaving them long, or just not leaving a good shot. Its not worth making an unnatural shot to try to get ball and hand--cuz if you screw up, you might sell out.
6) Never pull the trigger too soon on the 8.

But I made some excellent shots today and played well....I'm learning and really enjoying this. I want more. Win or lose tomorrow, I can't wait for the next one.

Giving up the ghost

2008-02-28T06:55:00.000-08:00

I will not wrecklessly, lazily shoot balls in practice. I will not wrecklessly, lazily shoot balls in practice. I will not wrecklessly, lazily shoot balls in practice... I will not....

My time is too valuable to build up muscle memory for bad habits. Focus, girl. Focus.

I'll be back to play the ghost when I'm truly deserving and ready for a match up.

Practice, practice, practice

2008-02-24T08:03:00.000-08:00

I've been very fortunate that I've had an advanced player help me practice the last few weeks. He's been incredibly helpful in not only pointing out when my fundamentals slip and in imparting new knowledge, but just doing the slog work of a personal trainer. He sets up my shots, and then endlessly resets them, so I've been able to get in some serious repetition and muscle memory. I never really thought about how much time I spend walking around the table to set up another object ball when I'm doing drills.

The only drawback is that when I'm practicing alone, I have even less patience for doing this kind of drill. So, I'm going to have to find a practice partner who is obsessed as I am and is willing to swap. Shoot for a half-hour and set for a half-hour. Having done this a few times now, I'm convinced that a half-hour of the rapid fire shooting is more effective than an hour of drills on my own. We'll see.

In league this week, I won my match. It went hill-hill because I missed an easy shot in the 2nd game, that I just shot to quickly. In the case game, I was left with the choice of a cut on the 8 with a possible scratch or a bank. Fortunately, in practice the night before I had been endlessly repeating a certain bank shot - focusing on shooting with control. This wasn't the same bank. The angle was wider, but the cut on the object ball and its distance to the rail were kind of similar. Anyway, it felt like the same principles applied - a little outside English, controlled speed, and the 8 just flowed into the pocket.

Two things were especially gratifying. One, it was great to see immediate results from my work at the practice table. That's so often not the case. And second, once I committed to the bank over the cut, I was fully committed to the shot. In my decision making process, I considered the low percentage of bank shots, but after I decided to go for it, it was the farthest thing from my mind. Now, if I can manage to do that on every single shot, imagine the possibilities.

Karma is a bitch. And Saturday she was my patron saint.

2008-02-13T23:44:00.000-08:00

I learned a few things this weekend through observation about how NOT to compete in a tournament.

First, its a good idea not to piss off the entire draw before things start and turn the whole room against you. A good way to do this, is to not give other people a chance to warm up when the table space is limited. Wait until some well-adjusted person gives up the table to you after a couple games, and then refuse to leave until someone beats you, "because last time you checked, this is a bar and that's how it works." Its one thing to have the right to be an asshole, but you gotta be a real Earl Anthony to actually invoke that right. Works like a charm. People will hate you.

Second, when you encounter a lower-ranked opponent who doesn't have a lot of tournament experience, turn to her right before the lag and ask her, "So, are you feeling tired yet?" This mild attempt at sharking will smell like exactly what it is, fear, and you will eliminate any last remaining vestiges of intimidation she was feeling. She will also realize that she is not in the least bit tired, but energized by how well she is playing.

Third, foul and pretend it didn't happen. Wait for the right shot, and carom off your opponents ball first in order to continue your run. If its not officially being watched, you can pretty much do whatever you want. Just in case your opponent didn't pick up on the fear at the start of the match, it will be blatantly obvious now, and she will feel a moral obligation to really kick your ass.

Do these things and I guarantee. You will lose.
------------------------------------------------------------
So, in the interest of blogger integrity, I must add a few notes.

1) Holding the practice table hostage: No notes necessary, this is pretty much how it went down. I should only add that this happened after the official start time of the tournament, so I don't even think that the normal bar rules applied.

2)"Are you feeling tired yet?" This could have been an attempt at conversation. It wasn't said in a snarky or pointed way. I actually suspect that he was in fact feeling tired. I did not have to face his "A" game. Although, others have confirmed he has a reputation for shenanigans like this.

3)Unacknowledged foul: Angle is everything when it comes to watching for fouls, and I was too far away to be sure. I thought it was a foul. The person next to me thought it was a foul. Truth be told, it was my bad for not having the shot watched. And I said so, and let it go. Really, it didn't bother me. My philosophy with this kind of thing, is that unless your a sociopath, most of us have a built in auto-karma enforcer. If he did cheat, he probably felt guilty, and missed two shots he should have made for the one he stole. But when it was my turn to shoot, and my bridge hand touched the felt, I thought "Bitch, I WILL cut you. Just in case, I am right, I need to kick your ass."

Anyway, it was a sweet, sweet victory. It only makes me sad that such a good player feels the need to mess with these kind of antics. Its a damn shame. My sense is that he is probably one of these guys who is perfectly normal, until picks up a pool cue and feels the need to become the playground bully that picked on him when he was a kid.

But maybe I'm being too nice. Bitch, I will cut you.....but I'll want to buy you a beer afterward.

Pool Minnow Wins Tournament. Hell Freezes.

2008-02-11T17:38:00.000-08:00

I am completely exhausted, but I have many tales (well at least one) to tell about my first tournament win. So, I'll just put a little placeholder for now and record that I won my league's top shooter tournament. I'll be the first to say the rolls were going my way, but I am also very, very proud of how I played. I gave it my all and for once, kept at it all the way through the finals.

I suck at pool a little less each and every day :-).

Blah, Blah, Blah-Blah-Blahg

2008-02-02T10:01:00.000-08:00

I'm just getting over a nasty cold, and don't really have the energy to compose much of a post, so I'm just going to jot down a few random thoughts, observations from the week:

Adrenaline & Antihistamine really are interchangeable. When I take antihistamine, it makes my heart beat and mimics the feeling I get under pressure. I also discovered that after the surge of adrenaline from winning a big playoff match, as I did recently, that my cold symptoms disappeared for 24 hours. Weird!
I'm realizing that the the mental game trick for me is less about letting go of winning as it is letting go of the fear of losing. Looking back at it, this should have been obvious.
I think that even in my meek, lower-level realm of league pool, I'm actually learning to "give weight". In OMGWTF's post about Derby City, she confessed to wanting to beat the entire world in pool. After she had done that, she would spot the world and beat it again. Most of the time in my little APA world, people really only complain about spotting games and how hard it is. This past week I played a 2 who was an very good shooter, and probably should be a 3. But, still I think I was the better player, and it was fair to spot him a game. This wasn't a conscious decision, but I realized after the fact it gave me a lot more confidence to accept the handicap as an indication of actual skill (at least when its in my favor), rather than whine about it being unfair. Spotting games puts the pressure on and makes me a better player.
I'm starting to believe that I may, in fact, play my best under pressure.
In practice, I'm having a hard time focusing on drills and want to just shoot. This is an ongoing problem for me, but its especially hard as I come up on events that I'm preparing for. I'm not sure if working on the drills undermines my confidence that my game isn't good enough and I don't have time to change anything. Right now, I'm just following my gut, doing my stroke drills and working on pre-shot routine while shooting racks. I'll try to get back to shot making drills next week.

That is all. Time for more coffee.

I would never think to moon the giant, but is it okay to shark a friend?

2008-01-26T09:14:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a little about sharking lately. Looking back about a recent match, I realized that I unintentionally sharked a friend during a tournament. He had just won two games and then I joked with him that the third one was absolutely, beyond a doubt, MINE. I wasn't going to go down without winning at least one. He made short order of running down to the eight. But then, he could not sink it. No matter how easy the shot, and I gave him plenty of chances, he just could not get that eight-ball down. Eventually, I got the rest of my balls off the table and won the third game. Just like I said, the third game was MINE.

I thought I was trying to psych myself up and engage in friendly banter, but it certainly didn't improve the way I shot. And I'm very suspicious that I didn't get to him with my comment. Either just planting the seed in his mind, or maybe making him feel just a little sorry for me (ick!!). I definitely don't like the pity angle, but not sure whether the psych out thing, if done in a friendly way, is kosher or not. Frankly, I wouldn't have thought it would actually work. Ultimately, shame on him for letting it affect his play (if that's what happened), but is this just part of the game, or really uncool. Doesn't the banter make the game a little more interesting? What are your thoughts?

Let me just end this post with my favorite sharking line of all time: "You better hurry up and shoot. I just put a whole bunch of ABBA on the juke box." (It worked, too. I guess the guy didn't realize that there was no ABBA in the juke box.)

Antihistamine is the new adrendaline

2008-01-23T22:44:00.000-08:00

So, league is back in full swing, and just in time, I came down with the nasty cold bug that has been going around. Why is it that miserable, coughy, hacking, phlegmy, virus-spreading people insist on going to work? 90% of the work in my business can be done by telecommuting and surely the healthy ones would be willing to help out with the other 10% to avoid being infected with nasty cold virus (especially those who have important things to do, like play pool). As a public service, I'd like to do what I can to encourage people to STAY HOME. And don't quote me that old wive's tale about your only contagious before you have symptoms. STFW! If you have symptoms, especially if you are coughing, you are contagious. You are most contagious the first 2-4 days when you feel your crappiest, so please, stay in bed, for god's sake and everyone else's. Thank you.

Fortunately, I followed my own advice, and I recovered enough, that I was able to go to league. Although, I did bring a thermos of hot honey & lemon (which at some moments made me feel quite cool, and at other moments like a complete dork, but it felt great on my throat).

Tonight continued the observation of the dynamics of lower level APA playing. Following on the idea that this is a competition to see who sucks less, and that games are decided by mistakes rather than by successful shotmaking, I continued to pursue the "Don't scratch, miss easy shots, or open up the 8" strategy. Tonight, my opponent was a 3 who was a good shot, but again, he didn't plan ahead. Both games were determined by a scratch. My opponent gave me ball-in-hand when I was on the 8 in the first game, and scratched on the 8 in the second...Wow, could winning be this simple? How discouraging.

While I feel that my defensive play did have something to do with the outcome, its not the most thrilling of wins. But is interesting that the theory does seem to be playing out...Let's see who will be the first 2 or 3 to actually win a match.

For the next time, in addition to my 3-part strategy, I need to add being really relaxed & focused on each and every shot. Its quite common for me to let up a bit after winning the first game. Partially because I'm relieved that I'm not the biggest loser on the planet, at least I won a game, and partially because alcohol consumption during the first game tips me over the point of optimum inebriation. And then there's no turning back.

I don't think there is much mental preparation I can do to help me focus while under the influence....that would be like self-hypnosis tapes for improving your drunk driving or something....just got to cut back on the drinking while shooting. (Maybe)

Adrenaline is the new antihistamine

2008-01-18T18:05:00.000-08:00

League finally started back up this week - at last. Unfortunately, one team had a BYE and the other didn't need me to play. So, I was still matchless.

Luckily, I was recruited to fill-in for an old team of mine for a couple of play-off games when one of their players came down with the flu. No handicap. 2 Games. One game, one point. Lots of pressure. Yeah!

What a difference a year makes. Last year around this time, I lost my first two matches in the playoffs. And while I was excited for my team, and excited for the experience, I'm not sure I actually enjoyed the pressure.

This week, I loved it. I can't really say that it brought out my best game. But, some of the excitement that I have been missing in league was back. It meant something.

My opponents were only average players. They could shoot balls, but neither really bothered to plan ahead to the 8 or think about how to fix problems. So I had three goals: do NOT miss easy shots, do NOT scratch, keep the 8-ball in jail. Both opponents made some great shots, to the approval and cheers of their teammates. Me? I just made my easy shots, didn't scratch, and never left my opponent get an easy shot on the 8. And I won. Both times. (Okay I don't earn much in bragging rights over two games or even much of a scientific sample, but its all I got this week).

A few weeks ago, someone told me that the most important thing to understand about playing pool at my level is that most games are lost rather than won. The person who makes the least costly mistakes wins. Not a fun thing to admit. Bascially, its a competition to see who sucks less. But I'm starting to realize its true. But even with a high-low handicap match up, what usually throws a match to a lesser player, is a stronger player's overly aggressive game leading to a scratch or an early eight.

When I think back to my dilemma about my regular, less-than-competitive league, I realize maybe I've been approaching it wrong. Maybe the league isn't my opportunity to give it all I got. To show off the latest thing I've learned. To get the props from my team and opponents. Maybe its to solidify a basic game. To be sure to make the easy shots under pressure. To deliver a good stroke. To not care if I impress others.

Maybe this league isn't my masters class, but the fundamentals practice for my beginner's mind.

Ah grasshopper, you have much to learn.....

Technical Difficulties

2008-01-18T18:02:00.000-08:00

I tried to add a new, private blog under my current Blogger account. Unfortunately, Blogger seems to have a problem with having two separate permission setting for different blogs under a single user name. So, the two people who may have tried to view this blog were locked out. Sorry! But pool minnow is back in the public eye once again.