"I love competing more than winning."
That's my new mantra....
I finally finished reading The New Toughness Training for Sports by James Loehr. I've had it for over a year, and read bits and pieces after Liz Ford and a couple of people on AZBilliards recommended it. There was lots of good information in the book, but that's the one little line that is making me really happy I read it.
I guess I'm just pleased to have something that expresses where my head's at when I'm in my happiest pool state. I've gone back and forth over the whole "wanting to win" thing. Once upon a time it was suggested that in order to win, I needed to let go of winning. That didn't quite work for me. When I tried to let go of winning, sometimes I just cared less when I lost. Then I thought maybe it wasn't wanting to win that was the problem, but the fear of losing. This was helpful, but "I'm not afraid to lose" may not be the best visualization to have in the middle of a game. I've tried "just wanting to play my best", but knew in my heart that was a lie. Let's face it...I want to win.
But "loving competing more than winning", doesn't pretend that winning isn't important, it just puts it under the love of competition and the game itself. And when I look back at some of my best wins, that's how I was feeling...I wanted to win, but I was loving every shot it took to get there...win or lose.
Okay, its not going to end up on a T-Shirt or anything, but I will be happy thinking about it while I'm wearing my "Bitch, I will cut you" shirt.
And I think it will help me get back into a good mental space at the table.
(Note: The book that was actually recommended was Loehr's first book "Mental Toughness Training for Sports" but it wasn't available at the time, so a friend got me the newest book. Judging from some of the reviews on amazon, some people think the first one was superior.)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Back in the saddle
I'm pleased to say that my return to the table resulted in a win. Even though I have been committed to being positive about the L-word and not buying into the "losing streak" concept, it was a relief.
Its was an easy match, one that I was supposed to win, but that comes with its own pressure. If I lost this one, then I would have to go into therapy. Fortunately, while I wasn't playing my best, I was pocketing balls well enough to stay ahead, playing safe when I should and didn't make too many mistakes. My opponent made it easy on me by giving me ball in hand twice when I was either on my last ball or on the 8.
When I was on the hill, I missed the 8 a couple of times. I had ball in hand with one ball left and drew the cue back a little far for the eight, so I had kind of a tricky cut, which I almost made. When I went back to my seat I was thinking "Damn, I wish that had gone in. Then it would be over." Not, as in over as in won, but over as in, I didn't want to have to keep playing this match. My opponent missed and left me a pretty easy cut in the side. As I lined up I wasn't thinking, something to the effect of "This is an easy shot, don't miss it, don't miss it." And of course, I did.
Even if I had lost that game, I still had two more chances, so there wasn't any pressure except what I was putting on myself, because I was so darn scared of losing. What the hell? This ain't the Olympics, its league pool....
The next and final shot was a gift from the heavens, as incredibly, my opponent missed his ball entirely and I got ball in hand. It was a relief to sink that last ball and sit down...and then I had a great time drinking and chatting with my teammates until the wee hours of the morning.
I think my ego was a little bruised when people suggested I needed to get some easy wins to get my confidence back. But, I have to say, I think they were right. Sometimes it helps to lower the pressure a little and remember what it feels like to sink an 8-ball (even if its an easy one). It ain't pretty, but I guess this is just a first step to getting back into the groove.
Somewhere I read that in river rafting one of the keys to successfully navigating the rapids is to focus on where you want to go rather than trying to avoid the rocks. Right now all I see are rocks....and I don't get it. Why can't they just get out of the way?
Its was an easy match, one that I was supposed to win, but that comes with its own pressure. If I lost this one, then I would have to go into therapy. Fortunately, while I wasn't playing my best, I was pocketing balls well enough to stay ahead, playing safe when I should and didn't make too many mistakes. My opponent made it easy on me by giving me ball in hand twice when I was either on my last ball or on the 8.
When I was on the hill, I missed the 8 a couple of times. I had ball in hand with one ball left and drew the cue back a little far for the eight, so I had kind of a tricky cut, which I almost made. When I went back to my seat I was thinking "Damn, I wish that had gone in. Then it would be over." Not, as in over as in won, but over as in, I didn't want to have to keep playing this match. My opponent missed and left me a pretty easy cut in the side. As I lined up I wasn't thinking, something to the effect of "This is an easy shot, don't miss it, don't miss it." And of course, I did.
Even if I had lost that game, I still had two more chances, so there wasn't any pressure except what I was putting on myself, because I was so darn scared of losing. What the hell? This ain't the Olympics, its league pool....
The next and final shot was a gift from the heavens, as incredibly, my opponent missed his ball entirely and I got ball in hand. It was a relief to sink that last ball and sit down...and then I had a great time drinking and chatting with my teammates until the wee hours of the morning.
I think my ego was a little bruised when people suggested I needed to get some easy wins to get my confidence back. But, I have to say, I think they were right. Sometimes it helps to lower the pressure a little and remember what it feels like to sink an 8-ball (even if its an easy one). It ain't pretty, but I guess this is just a first step to getting back into the groove.
Somewhere I read that in river rafting one of the keys to successfully navigating the rapids is to focus on where you want to go rather than trying to avoid the rocks. Right now all I see are rocks....and I don't get it. Why can't they just get out of the way?
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Keeping it together just long enough
Okay, even I know, its time to put the cue down for awhile and walk away from the table. And I'm going to take a break, I promise.
I've been saying that for a couple of weeks. So when I was invited to play in just one more end-of-season tournament, I told the tournament director I couldn't do it. I was just too burnt out. There would be no point in playing. I would not play well, not enjoy myself, and just reinforce all kinds of bad stuff. Which was too bad, because I've done well in this tournament before and normally would really be looking forward to it. But my mind was made up.
Then I thought about my June burn out problem. Of course, in a perfect world, you pace yourself so you peak for the most important competitions, but life doesn't always make that easy. So, if you're mentally tough, shouldn't you be able to push through the burn out just long enough to compete, and then take a break?
So, that became my quest. I spent the night before coming to terms with the whole situation. Accepting that I didn't want to play. Accepting that the tournament was coming at a bad time and there was nothing I could do about it. And then accepting that I was choosing to play anyway. I then spent some time getting in touch with my desire to win and visualizing myself playing with complete focus on the game and on every shot.
By morning, I was no longer feeling burnt out. I was ready to play.
It would be a great finish to this post to be able to say, "And I won the tournament" or "Made it to the finals." Nah. I was out in the first round. But I had a great match, and if it hadn't been for an unforeseen scratch on the 8 in the first game, I would have won in straight games. It was a victory for me, because I felt driven and focused in a way I haven't in weeks. Its a good feeling to know, that with a little mental preparation, I can push through the burn out.
But I recognize that I was tapping into the reserves to do it....so now its vacation time.
I've been saying that for a couple of weeks. So when I was invited to play in just one more end-of-season tournament, I told the tournament director I couldn't do it. I was just too burnt out. There would be no point in playing. I would not play well, not enjoy myself, and just reinforce all kinds of bad stuff. Which was too bad, because I've done well in this tournament before and normally would really be looking forward to it. But my mind was made up.
Then I thought about my June burn out problem. Of course, in a perfect world, you pace yourself so you peak for the most important competitions, but life doesn't always make that easy. So, if you're mentally tough, shouldn't you be able to push through the burn out just long enough to compete, and then take a break?
So, that became my quest. I spent the night before coming to terms with the whole situation. Accepting that I didn't want to play. Accepting that the tournament was coming at a bad time and there was nothing I could do about it. And then accepting that I was choosing to play anyway. I then spent some time getting in touch with my desire to win and visualizing myself playing with complete focus on the game and on every shot.
By morning, I was no longer feeling burnt out. I was ready to play.
It would be a great finish to this post to be able to say, "And I won the tournament" or "Made it to the finals." Nah. I was out in the first round. But I had a great match, and if it hadn't been for an unforeseen scratch on the 8 in the first game, I would have won in straight games. It was a victory for me, because I felt driven and focused in a way I haven't in weeks. Its a good feeling to know, that with a little mental preparation, I can push through the burn out.
But I recognize that I was tapping into the reserves to do it....so now its vacation time.
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