A couple months ago, I asked the question, "Is it possible to play your heart out each and every time?" Back then, I think I wanted the answer to be "yes." Now, I've come around to thinking that not only is it not possible, it might not even be a good idea to try. At least for me.
I had a bit of an epiphany recently. I was still in the mode of trying to make sense of how I could be so "hot" and then suddenly so "not." Be it mechanics, burn out - mental, emotional or physical...I was trying to find a way to get back where I was when I was playing my best, when I had focus, drive, and was hitting 'em good.
All of the players on my current team are strong, and I feel bad that over the last few months I haven't been carrying my weight. After another loss, I went home and looked at the stats, thinking how it hasn't been a great season, I had to start playing better...I was struck, that despite my losses this season, we weren't in last place, or hanging in the middle of the pack, we were in first.
I kind of hate what I'm about to say, because I'm independent and proud, and a stubborn perfectionist, but I'm thinking that maybe its okay to let my team carry me for awhile....and that I don't have to worry so much about putting pressure on myself to win right now, or make progress or whatever. My team has plenty of faith in my abilities, and I'm wondering if all the advice I was getting was more a response to my reactions to losing than to the actual losing itself.
I have come to terms with where I am with pool right now, and decided that I'm in a "recovery stage." But I'm not taking a break from pool, just a new approach. I've turned off the evaluator. Looking for positive things, or for nothing at all, and just focusing on being where I'm at, instead of trying to get somewhere.
I've discovered that recovery is all about trust. Trusting that you can let go of the reins of control for awhile and it will all return: the drive, the joy, the stroke, the eye. Its easy to be confident when you're winning. The results do all the work for you. But without trust, you're vulnerable the minute things start going wrong. In retrospect, during my winning streak I was confident, but I don't think I had trust. And the more I won, the more I was driven to practice harder and harder....a perfectionist's need to protect herself from failure. Interesting.
Anyway, letting go is a great feeling. Rehab IS Fab!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Turn the River
When I opened my Netflix delivery this week I was happy to see that Turn the River was finally out. I had seen the previews and was excited to see what appeared to be an intelligent film featuring a fair amount of pool, even if its not a "pool movie."
I enjoyed the film, although probably more for the decent character development and good acting by Famke Janssen and the actor playing her son. Major props for featuring one-pocket, although eventually the film ends with a 9-ball match, the change is introduced by the main character saying that 9-ball "seems like a chumpy game for us."
First let me say, I think it takes some courage to even attempt to put any kind of pool narrative in a film, especially on a low budget. The editor must have gone nuts trying to piece together legitimate sequences or even montages.
But any pool player is going to go into a movie like this trying to see who can really play and who is just an actor (actually recognizing Tony Robles doesn't count)...and the couple of editing mistakes can't help but jump out at you (like during the 9-ball sequence, it looks like she shoots straight in at the four and the cue ball cozies up to the 2.)
Famke Janssen did all of her own shots in the movie. Apparently, she is a good shot, but I never bought her as a real player. Her stroke was unconvincing and she never seemed confident at the table. Even considering she is down on her luck and living out of a truck she won at poker, she struck me as the kind of woman who could have a good night holding the table at a local bar, but not the kind of player who should be playing races to 5 for $10,000.
And then there was this exchange with her mentor after upping the bet to $10,000:
Mentor (Rip Torn): "You know he's going to try and f*ck with you?"
Famke: "F*ck with me? How?"
Are you serious? This woman is supposed to be a pool hustler and she's never been sharked before? Or, gosh any reasonable non-pool playing human being might be unsurprised by the suggestion that someone placing 10K on a pool match might try to play some mind games. Maybe she should play more league pool.
I could go on, but it would be unfair, because the director has stated that he didn't want the movie to be about the pool, and that he made a conscious decision to have as little pool as possible. He just wanted the audience to know who was winning and who was losing.
Which is too bad. I think letting the pool games carry a little more of the narrative weight would have added some needed tension and texture missing during the match sequences. (Is it too much to ask for a few full table shots during the one-pocket to give people a better feeling of the game? Maybe on a low-budget it is too much...)
Perhaps this could have avoided the need for the bizarre, oddly comic, thriller ending. Although, I guess the story needed some kind of conclusion...
Anyway, out of the hour and a half, I'd really only like the last 10 minutes of my life back. That's pretty good. Good acting & and dissing 9-ball. I'm glad I saw it.
I enjoyed the film, although probably more for the decent character development and good acting by Famke Janssen and the actor playing her son. Major props for featuring one-pocket, although eventually the film ends with a 9-ball match, the change is introduced by the main character saying that 9-ball "seems like a chumpy game for us."
First let me say, I think it takes some courage to even attempt to put any kind of pool narrative in a film, especially on a low budget. The editor must have gone nuts trying to piece together legitimate sequences or even montages.
But any pool player is going to go into a movie like this trying to see who can really play and who is just an actor (actually recognizing Tony Robles doesn't count)...and the couple of editing mistakes can't help but jump out at you (like during the 9-ball sequence, it looks like she shoots straight in at the four and the cue ball cozies up to the 2.)
Famke Janssen did all of her own shots in the movie. Apparently, she is a good shot, but I never bought her as a real player. Her stroke was unconvincing and she never seemed confident at the table. Even considering she is down on her luck and living out of a truck she won at poker, she struck me as the kind of woman who could have a good night holding the table at a local bar, but not the kind of player who should be playing races to 5 for $10,000.
And then there was this exchange with her mentor after upping the bet to $10,000:
Mentor (Rip Torn): "You know he's going to try and f*ck with you?"
Famke: "F*ck with me? How?"
Are you serious? This woman is supposed to be a pool hustler and she's never been sharked before? Or, gosh any reasonable non-pool playing human being might be unsurprised by the suggestion that someone placing 10K on a pool match might try to play some mind games. Maybe she should play more league pool.
I could go on, but it would be unfair, because the director has stated that he didn't want the movie to be about the pool, and that he made a conscious decision to have as little pool as possible. He just wanted the audience to know who was winning and who was losing.
Which is too bad. I think letting the pool games carry a little more of the narrative weight would have added some needed tension and texture missing during the match sequences. (Is it too much to ask for a few full table shots during the one-pocket to give people a better feeling of the game? Maybe on a low-budget it is too much...)
Perhaps this could have avoided the need for the bizarre, oddly comic, thriller ending. Although, I guess the story needed some kind of conclusion...
Anyway, out of the hour and a half, I'd really only like the last 10 minutes of my life back. That's pretty good. Good acting & and dissing 9-ball. I'm glad I saw it.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Its not all in my head!
Have you ever been to the doctor for some random ache or pain that just doesn't seem to go away? On the one hand, you're hoping they don't find anything, because its better to be healthy. On the other hand, if they don't find anything, you may be healthy, but you don't know what to do about your problem. You're stuck just waiting or dealing with a "psychosomatic" something or other....Its kind of good news, bad news either way.
This is how I felt after my latest practice session with Coach. I had come to the conclusion that my slump was mostly due to mental fatigue from overplaying. I thought it was all in my head and I just needed to get my confidence back. But who knows how long that will take? Unfortunately...or fortunately, a test of my fundamentals came back with some very bad results: Whacking, not stroking the ball, jacking up, poor alignment, jumbled inconsistent eye pattern and pre-shot routine. Ugh.
Good news: I'm not just a "loser" cuz I think like one.
Bad news: I actually suck and have a lot of work to do to regain the ground I've lost.
Good news: At least now I know.
Prescription: Lots of straight in stop shots. Lots.
I'd like to say this happened over the course of only a month, but I've gradually noticed some changes:
*My stop shots have beeen less precise.
*I've started to bring my head lower over my cue to see shots better, but as a result my stroke has angled down a bit.
*I've been trying to bring more power to my stroke, but sometimes I think I've forced it instead of building it gradually. Maybe this contributed whack/punch non-stroke thing I've been doing?
Anyway, however I got here, this is where I am....good thing I like doing straight in stop shots :-)
This is how I felt after my latest practice session with Coach. I had come to the conclusion that my slump was mostly due to mental fatigue from overplaying. I thought it was all in my head and I just needed to get my confidence back. But who knows how long that will take? Unfortunately...or fortunately, a test of my fundamentals came back with some very bad results: Whacking, not stroking the ball, jacking up, poor alignment, jumbled inconsistent eye pattern and pre-shot routine. Ugh.
Good news: I'm not just a "loser" cuz I think like one.
Bad news: I actually suck and have a lot of work to do to regain the ground I've lost.
Good news: At least now I know.
Prescription: Lots of straight in stop shots. Lots.
I'd like to say this happened over the course of only a month, but I've gradually noticed some changes:
*My stop shots have beeen less precise.
*I've started to bring my head lower over my cue to see shots better, but as a result my stroke has angled down a bit.
*I've been trying to bring more power to my stroke, but sometimes I think I've forced it instead of building it gradually. Maybe this contributed whack/punch non-stroke thing I've been doing?
Anyway, however I got here, this is where I am....good thing I like doing straight in stop shots :-)
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