Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Mission to annihilate: Failed and aborted

You knew this would happen. Didn't you? I realized after setting this goal, that I was probably sharking myself. And, while my match wasn't a complete disaster, I played reasonably well, I made some silly errors at critical times. A move that makes annihilation difficult. My opponent had dropped a skill level, and I won the first two games, so a week ago, my mission would have been accomplished, but last night I lost.

Oddly, I'm glad for the failure. Because I lost, I had one of the most rewarding league nights in a long time. As I've mentioned before, I would like more feedback from my more experienced teammates. After my loss we got into a good discussion about why I enjoy playing higher level players and what was holding my game back. My captain told me, "If you can forget about winning, you'll go far in this game."

I then realized the annihilation mission was the wrong course (but hell, I needed to do something to shake things up). What I need to do is let go. Play my game. Win or lose, I know that I played my game. Whether I'm playing a 2 or a 7, doesn't matter. I just need to play my game. If I play my game, I will win. Or maybe I won't, and on that day, the other guy is the better player. I think I can do that....

So, I go back to my question that I asked a few months ago when I was in the middle o my losing streak. If I knew I would never win again, would I still play? Today, the answer is "yes."

On the otherhand, I would have liked to have beaten this guy. This guy will never, ever hit the lag first or at the same time as his opponent. He always waits for the other guy to go first. I can't be sure if its intentional. But if it is it will eventually ruin his karma, I'm sure. But it won't matter to me...cuz I will just be playing my game.

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