Well, sort of. From the depths of time, will soon, emerge some new posts. Please stand by.
Its a little pathetic that I didn't even finish blogging about APA Nationals. And I'm torn between doing a quick update or actually taking the time to do a proper narrative. I know that no one out there really cares, but as the real purpose of this blog is to record my own journey, I'd kind of like to take the time to do it right.
But, for the record I will bore you with a brief update on what's happened in the past month, just in case I never get around to writing more:
* I played well in the APA 8-ballTeam Nationals, and my team finished 129th out of 712. Much better than I expected.
* Even though I played A LOT of pool in Vegas, I came back fired up to play more and more....but after the adrenaline wore off in a week, I was ready for a break, but previous commitments meant no rest for the pool-weary.
* US Amateur Preliminary was next. I went two and BBQ, but I was happy with how I played in my first match, especially given that I really didn't feel like playing.
* I opted out of playing in the West Coast Women's Regional 9-ball tour because I really needed a weekend off.
* Traveled 5 and a half hours to Bakersfield, to play in the APA Singles Regional Tournament and was undefeated until the semi-finals in both 8-ball & 9-ball. I now officially hate the Single Modified format (although it did help me get home at a decent hour on Sunday).
* After not qualifying for Singles Nationals, I immediately texted my 8-ball captain and told him I was taking the session off. I planned to do the same for 9-ball, but made the mistake of trying to tell him in person, and I chickened out. I'm only a part-time player for 9-ball, so I still feel like I have a lot more freedom. Woohoo!
* When I started this blog several ago, it was about becoming a better player, but it was also about getting to Vegas. Along the way, my perspective has broadened quite a bit and I have other goals, but something about getting that checked off my list...its oddly freeing. It really feels like I've reached a milestone, and I'm not sure what's next.
On another note, in the past, I have gone out of my way to avoid or even change telling details in my blog so that I could be sure to remain anonymous.
(I know its a little strange to want to be public through a blog, but still expect to remain private, but I have my reasons).
Well after these years of blogging, I've decided the effort to conceal and deflect is more trouble than its worth, and that I'd rather just not worry about it. I won't be posting my name or photo, as I'm not really interested in being a known blogger, but not really bothered if you're curious to know who I am and figure it out. If as a result of this new policy, you realize that you know me and think that you read something about you that offends you slightly, I offer two interpretations: 1) I'm not talking about you, 2) you deserved it. If you're not okay with interpretation #2, my preference is that you choose to believe interpretation #1. After all, its just a blog :-)
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Eternal Sunshine of the Paris Slot Machines
Well, the upside of losing, is that I get a day off. Fortunately, I don't have to spend it with my doubles partner.
I do have another tournament to prepare for. And although I feel good about how I played, I really do, At the same time, on some level, I'm kind of unnerved by my partner's reactions. I called up a friend who coaches collegiate basketball and has done a lot of mental training. And while he agreed, it was no fun, he was pretty clear, that no matter what my partner said or reacted, it should have NO impact on my confidence in my ability. None.
"As lame as this sounds, that's why they call it SELF-confidence. So, your partner had some blips in his mental game. His mental game and your mental game are different, especially now that you aren't playing doubles anymore. Whatever boost you were getting from his support in the past, you've just got to find it within yourself now. In the long run, its probably a good thing. No more crutches. "
"Thanks, that just the wise, if slightly irritating, kind of advice I suppose I need."
"Either that, or just eat, drink and gamble yourself into a stupor. It may not help your pool game, but it could be fun."
I do have another tournament to prepare for. And although I feel good about how I played, I really do, At the same time, on some level, I'm kind of unnerved by my partner's reactions. I called up a friend who coaches collegiate basketball and has done a lot of mental training. And while he agreed, it was no fun, he was pretty clear, that no matter what my partner said or reacted, it should have NO impact on my confidence in my ability. None.
"As lame as this sounds, that's why they call it SELF-confidence. So, your partner had some blips in his mental game. His mental game and your mental game are different, especially now that you aren't playing doubles anymore. Whatever boost you were getting from his support in the past, you've just got to find it within yourself now. In the long run, its probably a good thing. No more crutches. "
"Thanks, that just the wise, if slightly irritating, kind of advice I suppose I need."
"Either that, or just eat, drink and gamble yourself into a stupor. It may not help your pool game, but it could be fun."
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Who are you, and what have you done with my partner?
Day 2. Scotch Doubles. My normally supportive partner is replaced by his evil twin. He pouts when I miss. Tells me what I did wrong in the middle of the match. When I play well, and we pull off match #1 of the day, he's not excited or complimentary, or grateful for the lucky rolls. He acts like, "well, of course we should win." We lose match #2. I play well, but miss a few tough, but critical shots. He sulks, and then just takes off.
I'm probably making it sound worse than it was, but seriously, I was like WTF? I feel like crap. I went over the shots I missed again and again, and wondered, what happened? They weren't easy, but they were makable. All of them I missed by just a hair. Did I just not want to win? Did I just give it away? Did I choke? Were my fundamentals off?
After much analysis, I have come to one conclusion: I missed.
I'm tempted to look at my partner's behavior and try to figure it out. All I will say, is that I've seen his own game go south because he can't manage his feelings when he doesn't meet his own high expectations. But as a doubles partner, in the past, he's never imposed those expectations on me. Last year I played miles over my head in this tournament. This year I'm a stronger and more consistent player. I would say I played well this year, but I didn't vastly exceed my average playing ability. Maybe that was a factor. But, anyway, that's his problem to figure out.
My problem was, and is, that his attitude got to me. During the match, I think I did okay at trying to not let it bother me. The whole tournament there had been subtle changes in the way he coached and acted toward me. It was a little distracting, and I could feel it undermine my confidence ever so slightly. I don't think it affected my performance too much, but it really made it A LOT LESS FUN. Part of the reason I played so well last year, was that I let go and just really enjoyed myself.
Its hard, because, sometimes when I need a little extra confidence on an 8-ball shot, I imagine him giving me words of encouragement. Now, I feel like that's gone. Instead its replaced by his words of criticism and the look of disappointment on his face when I missed those shots. Ugh.
I'm probably making it sound worse than it was, but seriously, I was like WTF? I feel like crap. I went over the shots I missed again and again, and wondered, what happened? They weren't easy, but they were makable. All of them I missed by just a hair. Did I just not want to win? Did I just give it away? Did I choke? Were my fundamentals off?
After much analysis, I have come to one conclusion: I missed.
I'm tempted to look at my partner's behavior and try to figure it out. All I will say, is that I've seen his own game go south because he can't manage his feelings when he doesn't meet his own high expectations. But as a doubles partner, in the past, he's never imposed those expectations on me. Last year I played miles over my head in this tournament. This year I'm a stronger and more consistent player. I would say I played well this year, but I didn't vastly exceed my average playing ability. Maybe that was a factor. But, anyway, that's his problem to figure out.
My problem was, and is, that his attitude got to me. During the match, I think I did okay at trying to not let it bother me. The whole tournament there had been subtle changes in the way he coached and acted toward me. It was a little distracting, and I could feel it undermine my confidence ever so slightly. I don't think it affected my performance too much, but it really made it A LOT LESS FUN. Part of the reason I played so well last year, was that I let go and just really enjoyed myself.
Its hard, because, sometimes when I need a little extra confidence on an 8-ball shot, I imagine him giving me words of encouragement. Now, I feel like that's gone. Instead its replaced by his words of criticism and the look of disappointment on his face when I missed those shots. Ugh.
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